Some Things Can’t Be Fixed

January 26, 2012 in Blogs

In case you were wondering (which probably you weren’t) the car was repaired and is back on the road.  On the down side, the price–well, I had given a number that I said was the ceiling above which I wanted to be alerted, and they were only three quarters of the way to it, so I ought to be pleased; but there were some other unanticipated expenses which would have been easy to absorb had it not been for the huge car repair bill.  It has put in jeopardy an anticipated trip to visit family this weekend which on one level we cannot afford to have put in jeopardy.  So I’m scrambling to cover things.

Meanwhile, today is Thursday, and I uploaded another article to the temporal anomalies series at The Examiner, Blackadder Back & Forth part 10:  repairs.  There might be ways to fix the past, but for several reasons Edmond cannot do so the way he does it.

Not yet having received 11 Minutes Ago and finding a bit of extra time on my hand Tuesday evening, I have started working on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.  I don’t much like it–I mean, it’s a decent fun movie, but as a time travel story it’s going to be a lot of trouble.  On the other hand, having seen it several (many?) times when my boys were younger, the single viewing with a notepad already made might be sufficient to cover the details.

–M. J. Young

Stuck at Home

January 23, 2012 in Blogs

It was still autumn when I mentioned that the brakes on the car were making the kind of noise that means minor repairs are in order.  At the time I was brushed off with “I don’t hear anything.”  Thus when they started making the kind of noise that makes me nervous to drive the car last week, that got a “Why didn’t we know this sooner?”  Because of the delay, the vehicle needs a couple of shoes, a couple of pads, a couple of rotors, and a caliper; and because it needs that much and calipers are apparently not standard stock, the car with disassembled brakes is spending the night at the shop to be fixed in the morning.  We’re not going anywhere tonight; hopefully we can manage without it.

Blackadder finally makes it home in this week’s Examiner temporal anomalies installment, Blackadder Back & Forth part 9:  home?, in which the issue is whether it is possible for the time traveler to discover that he has changed the past.  The film isn’t over, though, because Edmond will recognize the damage done and will make another trip attempting to repair it.

I have not started work on the next film (the one to follow Watchmen, which is ready to run), but I am not at the moment certain which it will be.  I have been stalling the start of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III:  Turtles in Time partly because I’ve been otherwise engaged, partly because I already know the story and think it’s not going to make a very interesting series, and partly because I’m not sure how much interest there is in it.  Meanwhile, someone wrote pressing me to analyze a film called 11 Minutes Ago, so I ordered it from Amazon (it really seemed cheap of me to suggest that he do so).  It sounds interesting, perhaps challenging, in that it appears the time traveler keeps hopping back earlier and earlier, which means that he’s rewriting his own history as he goes–definitely the dangerous way to do it.  It’s supposed to arrive around Thursday, so maybe I’ll do that one first.

Well, work awaits.

–M. J. Young

A Late Stop

January 19, 2012 in Blogs

I got an early start this morning.  Someone needed a ride to an early doctor appointment I had scheduled, so I was called upon to drive on a few hours of sleep.  After that, the restaurant we had chosen at which to lunch was no longer there, and I gladly embraced the suggestion that we travel the half hour home plus half an hour in the opposite direction to lunch at that wonderful restaurant I mentioned a month or so ago (and Eric Ashley immortalized in one of his articles, Practise Bits:  Feast), The Golden Corral.  It was early afternoon when we exited, contentedly full.

As long as we were by the shopping centers, though, there was one thing my passenger needed for work, so stopped at a store for a quick errand.  A few hours later we left, but had to make another stop for another necessity, and by the time we were home, the morning daylight had given away to evening darkness, and the day was spent.

I turned to my office, but I do not do so well on lack of sleep as I did in my college days (and I did not do as well then as I tried to believe), and was accomplishing nothing if you don’t count clicking a mouse button with my eyes closed.  I was forced to retire for a nap, and by the time I was again functional there was very little left of “today”.

I did manage to upload the latest Examiner temporal anomalies article while it was still Thursday on the eastern seaboard.  I had a couple extra hours, because even though there are independent editions of the e-paper for cities around the country, the central office is in a more westerly timezone and so articles posted to the national edition, at least, are timestamped by the clock there.  In this installment, Blackadder Back & Forth part 8:  legions, the intrepid duo make the last stop of their first trip, encountering their own ancestors at Hadrian’s Wall.  I did not mention it in the article, but apparently the joke of the scene is about making the Roman armor progressively shorter until David Fry’s suit leaves his underpants showing from beneath.  I more appreciated Hugh Laurie misidentifying the approaching Scottish attackers as a moving orange hedge, but then, I thought that the credits listing of “Hordes of Scots” playing the part of “Scottish Hordes” (or was it the other way around?) was almost as funny as the standard gag credit in the Elizabethan series, “Additional Dialogue by William Shakespeare”.

Speaking of Mr. Ashley, his latest contribution to the reading material here is a rather atmospheric piece about a vampire hunter, entitled Practise Bits:  Bitter.  I’m not certain whether the character is inspired by me, him, Lauren Hastings, or David Marcoe, all of whom have done the modern vampire scenario, although for me it was Chicago, not Philadelphia, and the character is not Lauren because it’s clearly a man.

Well, I’m obviously rambling a bit, a side effect of trying to clear the nap out of my brain, but there’s more work ahead so I’d better move ahead to where it awaits.

–M. J. Young

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by Tadeusz

Practise Bits: Bitter

January 18, 2012 in Fiction

Ethereal black smoke domed the sky; the grit of it clung to the teeth, and clogged the throat. Looking down the descent of the white marble way, between the awnings of the avenue of merchants, while the distance distorted, blurred, and stung the eyes and the brain for the smoke drifted here too past the unseeing and unknowing residents of the City of Four Hills. But the hunter saw, smelt, tasted the bitter smoke. It creeped as if to jump up on his shoulder when he was not looking, hooked beneath his sole to make the stone unwelcome met, and curdled around ankles seeking trippage and damage.

The hunter knew it of old. He had destroyed vampires in Philly, and in Costa San Rico, and on the streets of Old London with each city a resident of different worlds. All these different in their form, and powers, and sometimes even natures, but all held the taint of the Undead, by their very existence they let into a particular Reality their gritty, bitter entropy.

For a vampire not only is often Damned, and soulless, and a bloodthirsty monster, but he hastens the heat death of the universe, and spreads ill luck by its mere existence. Thus the hunter hunted, but not as a hero. He had been such, but by his second hunt, when the screams of the burned thing echoed in his ears, he knew better. He was not a hero. He was a janitor, a garbageman, a sewer tech.

Still, he had not seen such a mass of mono-taste smoke. It meant several things. The single taste made it clear there was but one Monster. But the steadiness of it made clear that the Monster was a master.

But that saved the worse for last. For most Masters become reclusive and static. The hunter had met one that he had been unable to kill, somewhat unwilling in truth, who lived on a teaspoon of blood a month. Such was the nature of the Master Vampire. But, here…here was different. Here a master had not retreated from the world, and learned economy and durability. Here a master had gone the opposite way and become profiligate and debauched in a sea of blood.

And that worried the hunter greatly.

The Wellington Impact

January 16, 2012 in Blogs

In today’s installment in the Examiner temporal anomalies series we examine the impact Blackadder has on history when his time machine has an impact on the Duke of Wellington–quite literally.  Blackadder Back and Forth part 7:  Wellingtons suggests that this would have been significant, but not in the way expressed in the movie.

Meanwhile, I have completed the draft of a short series on Watchmen, and posted the anticipated episode titles to the index site.

Friday we had an interesting meeting at a diner whose bar crowd was too loud for our preference and whose prices reflected the fact that they drew a clientelle there for the nostalgia.  Most of Collision was in attendance, plus a few family members of the members.  John, the drummer I had hoped to introduce to the rest who chose the location, did not appear and has not been in contact with me since; I am again beginning to worry about him.  Hopefully it’s nothing serious.

We have illness in the house, and already my effort to get my work completed has raised ire that I should be able to skip work and attend the sick; but Monday is a bad day for that, so here I am.

–M. J. Young

Maybe I Don’t Exist, Either

January 12, 2012 in Blogs

It has in some ways seemed a quiet week.  Behind the scenes I have been struggling to communicate something sensible about Watchmen so it will be ready to join the Examiner temporal anomalies series when the current film finishes its run.

That series continues today with Blackadder Back & Forth part 6:  Sherwood, which deals with an interesting conundrum:  how do you evaluate the impact on history of the premature death of someone who historically may never have existed and certainly did not do all that is credited to him?  It is fun to meet Robin Hood in our fictional stories (at least two of my players currently in the forum are visiting his world at the moment), but we can do that because everyone in a fictional world is fictional.  Meeting him in Blackadder’s world only underscores the unreality of that fiction; and killing him–well, I digress.

I have a meeting tomorrow evening which may delay me or interfere with my presence here entirely.  All five members of Collision are gathering about an hour north of here at a diner which happens to be a few blocks from my mother-in-law’s home but which was chosen by the guy who is farthest away, drummer John Mastick.  He is very much into fifties nostalgia, and there is a nostalgia diner there of which one of his friends speaks highly, so in addition to meeting for the first time with the rest of the band he hopes to enjoy visiting the place.  I am not nostalgic, and despite the fact that I have driven past the place perhaps hundreds of times and been inside once (to rendezvous with a member of the household needing transportation), I do not remember the name, but that I think it was called The Century Diner before it received its nostalgic overhaul.  To save on gas (his, not mine) I will be going a bit out of my way to take lead guitarist Kyle Baxter, and expect keyboard/vocalist Jonathan Maness and drummer (yes, the other drummer) Nicholas “Nick” Rhoades to meet us there.  I have no idea what exactly we are going to do, because I have never been particularly competent at unstructured social situations (dinners, parties, riots), but I hope that our gathering will help us connect with each other a bit more solidly–not that we suffer from any real disconnection, but I’m not sure how well we know each other at this point, and particularly John, whom I have seen I think maybe thrice since my wedding, last at his wife’s funeral, and who is known to the rest of the band only as the guy who really wants to play drums with us badly enough to be willing to drive three hours each way.

Today seems rather relaxed.  It’s early, and although I am planning to wash a batch of dishes and make a complicated dinner, I don’t feel much in the way of time pressure at present, and I might even take another look at my work on Watchmen to see whether there’s anything left to say.

–M. J. Young

Trouble in Spacetime

January 9, 2012 in Blogs

As Blackadder and Baldrick travel to the future, our Examiner temporal anomalies series follows them with Blackadder Back & Forth part 5:  space, only to discover that they have nowhen to go.  There being no past, there can be no future, and our story crashes.  Don’t worry; apparently neither Blackadder nor his writers were aware of this, and so they continue their journeys in our next article.

My day didn’t exactly crash, but a substantial chunk was given to a family adventure, viewing a rising full moon in a heavily overcast night sky over a dark ebbed ocean, and as we returned westward from the shore snow found us at our dinner stop.  It was not a major delay, but I do seem to be running late.  Too, my youngest has come home with the request that I ensure he gets to work in the morning, so I can’t stay up too late.

I have started work on Watchmen.  There’s not that much to it in temporal terms, but what there is can be entirely confusing.  Just the one conversation between Jon and Laurie about her affair with Daniel which he does not yet know about but already knows he will learn about later in the conversation is enough to confuse any temporal analyst.  It will be a short series, but a rough one to write, I think.  After that, my sons have tracked down our copy of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III:  Turtles in Time, so I’ll probably turn my attention to that bit of humor next.

On the home front, if Gaming Outpost is home, we have more from Eric Ashley.  In Practise Bits:  Knife he explores the other side of whether and when women might be soldiers.  (This should not be confused with his earlier piece of the same title.)  Practise Bits:  Hunt puts a high-tech warrior on the track of giant spiders.  Practise Bits:  Ride reads like an interlude connecting parts of a longer story; but then, he gives this to us as writing practice, and it helps to practice all the parts.

–M. J. Young

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by Tadeusz

Practise Bits: Ride

January 8, 2012 in Fiction

At the head of a column of mounted knights, Sir Raspers of Harrowgard aka Thomas Victor Jennings of Palmetto Lane, Pensacola, Florida, Earth rode forth on his giant bay horse. Leaving the castle behind and the cheering lads, and weeping maids, the double line of twenty kept at an easy trot down to the Sea Road. There, they turned south as they clattered throught the empty streets of what had been a fine fishing village before the raiders burnt it. Not wanting to as the ashen smell still clung to the ground, Sir Raspers known for his smoker’s voice, reined the column back to a walk for the Sea Road was treacherous underfoot with rocks bobbing to the surface after every winter, and on occasion a sheer drop off cliffs to the left and into the sea.

By noon, they had reached the first guardpoint, and they stayed to enjoy a repast and a report from the worried men there. Inside the low earthen walls, they ate their bread, cheese, and ham, and then set out again.

By nightfall, they were a few miles short of the next guardpoint so they pushed on into the twilight until they reached it. This caused no little bit of worry to the guardian quartet who heard a large group come up the road at night, and so they were greeted with especial relief and gladness.

The warmth of the fire after the occasional salt spray of the day, and the hard riding was also welcome as was the cooking sausage and pears. Sir Raspers went aside to talk with his lead men, and the captain of the guardpoint as he took the time to smoke one of his few remaining cigarrettes. Despite what people said, a pipe was just not the same for him.

He took the reports, and then had the chaplain pray, and then bade his men to sleep which they did for tommorrow would see them enter the Warthing Wood, a treacherous place home to bandits and unclean things once human, and the day would be even harder than the first.

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by Tadeusz

Practise Bits: Hunt

January 6, 2012 in Fiction

The kevlax-silk blend armor short sleeve shirt rode up above the tattoo of a spider pierced by a dagger on the sergeant’s right bicep as he crouched by the entrance to the Tunnels. A dark mouth of concrete chunks, held together by molded-green spiderspit, stank of blood and acid as the sun went down, and the interior heat of the underground warrens breathed out into his face, his twitching nose. The scent told him things.

Putting down the heavy plasma rifle, he took up a single pulse lasecaster glove for his right hand, and a spitter digger for his left. Leaving the heavy rifle behind, the sergeant moved forward to the tunnel mouth across the crunching bones of rats, and an occasional cat. Above him, the abandoned downtown towers of Seattle watched with indifference, one might say. The sergeant thought they cheered him on, being the creation of Man, and he being a man, even if he was from another universe.

The glove held its juice in the palm of his hand, in a biological energy pack made of chitin, which were made of sugar in a maximal reflective energy cage that looked like diamonds, but was borrowed from a frog. Point a finger, will the shot, and zaaaaap! Energy would race from the pack, down a fiber optic line, and out a small gate at the tip of the finger.

In order to get in, he’d have to crawl on his belly, and considering he was hunting spiders, who ran at full human sprint in the same place he could crawl, that seemed a bad idea. So he sat the spitter digger to work. The conic mouth inhaled rock chunks at one end, digested them in the tubular middle of two inches, and shot them out the other fan shaped end.

In a few minutes, it was done, and he scooped it back up in the midst of it as his close combat ‘knife’. A spitter could also cut through spiderflesh as well as rock. One would think it was noisy, but the marvelous little machine used contra-vibrations so that running, it was actually more silent than not running. It was a black hole for sound.

The age of the scent, and the intensity told him that there was not a horde waiting for him in the First Waiting Chamber. If there had been, he would have been toting the plasma rifle. Every spider warren had such a place near its exterior mouth so that they could rush out and overwhelm a large foe. The flattened oval shaped clamshell room was fifty feet across tilting down about fifteen degrees, and six foot tall at its center. The sergeant slow stepped into it, looking right, left, up, and down because spiders could dig holes in dirt floors and be up a man’s leg, and in his face faster than you could blink.

Careful to not cut himself with the spitter, the sergeant wiped some sweat off the left side of his forehead before it dripped into his left eye, and then advanced some more, listening, feeling, smelling. They were out there, and it was his job to make the ‘terraformers’ extinct. In a few decades, their masters would arrive in sublight ships, hoping to find a planet all ready for their inhabitation. The sergeant intended to greet them with a spaceship the size of a moon. But first things first. Spider blasting.

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by Tadeusz

Practise Bits: Knife

January 5, 2012 in Fiction

“No. You don’t understand!” I shouted, and surgestepped across the bunker to slam Light Colonel Kellman in the chest, and up againsts the dirty ceracrete wall. His powered armor crunched under my bare hands, and his eyes widened at the frank impossibility. And then training kicked in, and he tried to armbar me, but I faded back, and spun him so that he landed facedown on the holotable.

“Stop.” General Cooper ordered. We both moved. Him to rise, and me to circle in the small space amidst the other officers in the Circle. “Next man moves, gets shot.”

The sergeant at arms racked his plasma cannon which was heavy enough that he needed his full powered armor to tote it. It was also big enough to tank down a pammier or an enemy Wolfjumper battletank.

We froze, and I looked calmly at the General. He viewed me with displeasure in his cold, gray eyes.

“Explain without the theatrics.” I started to speak in reaction to this demand, but the general pointed a finger at Kellman.

“Sir. Enlisting untrained women to fight the invading Wolfen would be slaughter. There are no armors available in their size. They have no training. In my pam, I could kill dozens. The Wolfen would gut them.”

General Cooper looked at me with a dead fish like mouth pursed.

“How many?” I said to Kellman.

He blinked, and shook his head.

“How many women would it take to kill you? Give them weapons familiarization and proton double barrels.”

He shrugged and spoke off-handedly.

“I don’t know. Two hundred.”

“Okay, then we send two hundred fifty to get you.”

I said calmly, and then waited. The explosion of outrage came from all sides. I waited some more until the sergeant at arms restored order by shooting a low power pulse into the ceiling.

“Its…” Kellman sputtered.

“Its exactly that bad, gentlemen. Ordinarily, wars avoid civilians. There are no civilians in this war. The Wolfen aim to exterminate the human race. Ordinarily, you want to keep your breeding stock, to be blunt, of young females alive so they can repopulate in one generation. We’re trying to survive for one generation.”

I paused and looked around them.

“If I have to, I’m going to send young women out armed with sticks.” I paused. “And so are you.”

There were tears and shock in everyone’s face, and then a broken voiced General Cooper spoke.

“The verser is right. This is a War to the Knife. Give the orders.”