(For those of you keeping score, this is the penultimate chapter of Episode Thirty-Seven. That means there’s one more on the horizon. After that, one more Episode to wrap things up, then we’ll start on Volume Two of this whole GDJ thing. What game’s next? There’s a hint below.)

Once upon a time when wishes were still worth something, John went to Gen-Con. This is the story of what happened when he was there, how he played in a live-action game, killed two of his favorite characters and got called “a sick bastard” for his troubles.

And at the end of the story, there will be a lesson.

Finishing Off Thursday

We left things off on Thursday morning/afternoon. Some time around there. Well, around 2 PM, something remarkable happened.

I was running short of books. I reached back into the Wicked Press booth for another box when&

I realized I didn’t have another box.

Eighty-eight books. Gone in less than four hours.

Sold out the first day.

I talked to Eric and Dustin. Told them Thomas and Rich were on their way, arriving around six. Each of them may have more boxes. I really don’t know. It all depends on what their own airlines let them get away with. So, I might have books to sell on Friday. Might.

Eric suggests we order another five boxes for Saturday. Fed-Ex rate means I’ll pay $100 a box. Then again, every box I sell through gets me $484 (Twenty-two books at $22 a piece). Less profit, but then again, if I sell through the lot of them. And, like I said, I don’t know if Rich and Tom can come through with their own cases. I give Eric the nod. We’ll order the books from the warehouse.

At around 5:55 PM, Rich shows up. He’s got the “I’m at Gen-Con!” look on his face. Never been before. First time here. Got himself a Wicked Press badge. Quick hellos and I find out he’s got four boxes with him. That’s eighty-eight more books. Hot damn.

The room closes at six. We head out for the hotel. Thomas should be arriving at around 6:30 to 7:00. We sit in the lobby of our hotel - the Big, Haunted Hilton - and try not to fall asleep. Neither of us have had any rest for twenty-four hours.

And it’s just Thursday.

Right about then, I spot a familiar face. No, not Thomas. Someone a whole lot prettier.

Ree Soesbee, the lovely lady I hand-picked to be my successor for the L5R storyline, is checking in. I saunter on over and we have the John/Ree Hug.

(Ever notice how everyone’s hug is different? It’s not just them. It’s you, too.)

Ree tells me Saturday is a special day: she’s reading No Regrets (The Last Kachiko Story). Then, she says, “John. Would you read it?”

A pause. Consideration. What the hell am I thinking?

“Of course I will,” I tell her.

“You spoke her first words, you should speak her last.”

Another hug. It’s on for Saturday.

Thomas shows up. He’s got the same light in his eyes I saw in Rich.

Heh. Wait ’till they hear the news.

And with that, we’re off to the WoTC party.

* * *

After free food, I bring them over to that little place you always hear about a week or so after Gen-Con’s over: The Safehouse. It’s been a year. They have a new secret entrance. I tell them about our sell-out. I have to shout over the disco (Marcelo must be here).

That’s when their eyes really start shining.

Sure enough, Marcelo is in the house, along with a few other AEG folks. We shout our lungs out catching up (it’s been a year, after all). I have my obligatory drink: a vodka martini.

And with that vodka martini, Tom, Rich and I toast Orkworld. “Let the sales never slack,” we say, slamming our drinks down.

And they never do.

* * *

Friday Morning

Eighty-eight more books.

All gone by 3:00 PM.

Saturday sales usually match your Thursday and Friday sales.

I’m suddenly very glad we ordered those extra five boxes.

All through the day (and all through Thursday, come to think of it), Bayushi Betty sits in our booth. For those of you who haven’t had the priviledge of meeting Betty, she’s the lovely lady who wears that amazing Kachiko costume to Origins and Gen-Con. You can find pictures of her at just about any Gen-Con photo sum-up, including the one here at the ol’ G.O.

During the day, I write the first part of this Episode over at the G.O. booth. For the fifteenth time in two days, I spot Gareth Skarka. He shows me a copy of Underworld, I show him a copy of Orkworld. We trade. I forgot to get a signature.

At around 5:00 PM, I get suited up to play Bayushi Yojiro for the L5R Live-Action game AEG is running. You see, Yojiro’s the character I used to playtest the RPG system, and&

You know, this requires a bit of an explanation.

I used Yojiro in a couple of adventures and sourcebooks as window dressing. Word got out that Yojiro was my character, and I got barrages of e-mails asking more about him. I relented and gave his stats in The Way of the Scorpion. I was even indulgent enough to make him the viewpoint character for the opening fiction. It was fun.

As Yojiro’s legend grew, people began calling me “Yojiro-sama” at cons, game stores and anywhere else L5R was played. Finally, when it came time for a new Scorpion Champion in the card game, the Scorpion players agreed: it would be Yojiro. I was flattered.

Well, this year at Gen-Con, it was my last opportunity to play him in a live game. I announced on the L5R lists that the character would officially be retiring after the LARP. One of the players - that lovely and talented Bayushi Betty - made me a Yojiro costume. A beautiful Yojiro costume. I’m sure someone has a photo.

And so, on Friday night, dressed in my armor, I went forth to play Yojiro one last time.

When I got there, I discovered that Yojiro would indeed be at the LARP& but not the proper Yojiro. Instead, it was a Ninja Shapeshifter posing as Yojiro. My job? To thwart the Scorpion players at every step and discover a few other facts.

I put this together right quick. In other words, I thought, my job is to make sure the Scorpion players - who will obey my every word - don’t do anything during the game.

That’s right. My job is to make sure the Scorpion players got bored.

Someone must have thought it’d be really in John Wick’s character to fake being Yojiro on his last time out. Yeah. That’s Playing Dirtyä.

No. No, it isn’t.

Me having fun at the player’s expense? That’s not fun, it’s masturbation.

So, armed with my knowledge, I put a little plan in motion. It worked like this.

Yojiro is a sweet guy. I was an asshole.

Yojiro plays the “Honest Scorpion” gig to the hilt, making friends all the way. I jerked people around and threatened them.

Yojiro never - and The Wick means never - carries a sword. I had both a katana and wakizashi tucked into my belt.

Finally, I asked Betty if I could borrow her fan. And I used it. Everywhere I went. I put it in people’s faces, I hit them with it, I made points with it by poking people in the chest to emphasize my words.

And, most importantly, I treated my fellow Scorpions like crap.

Actually, that’s not the most important thing I did. The most important thing I did was make each and every one of them make Perception tests against me.

Every. Chance. I. Got.

At the end of every conversation, I’d tell them to make a Perception Test. I talked to the GMs about it, and they gave me a TN for them to test against. Whenever they made it, I’d point out a discrepency in my behavior.

“You’ve never seen me use a fan before,” I’d tell them.

“You’ve never seen me talk to someone like that before,” I’d tell them.

The kicker? Yojiro has a braid of hair tied to his belt, given to him by The Lady of Scorpions, Bayushi Kachiko. One player, an old school L5R player from the LA area who flew out specifically to participate in this very larp, asked me, “Lord Yojiro? Do you have a braid of hair on your obi?”

Now, there is no way I can make a test against this guy. At least, not ethically. He’s asking a question of the character, not to the character. In other words, he’s taking a look at Yojiro, and he’s looking for tiny details to be wrong. That’s initiative. As a GM, there’s no way I’d force him to make that roll.

“No,” I tell him. “No, I’m not.”

He smiles. I can’t help it. I drop face for just a moment.

Or maybe I could help it. I can’t recall.

And, no, I didn’t inhale, either.

“By the way,” I tell him. “I’m on my way to see the new Emperor to tell her that she’s safe as long as the Scorpions are here. We’d be able to spot a Shapeshifter a mile away. Especially a Shapeshifter on its way to murder the Emperor.

I give him a stern look. “Do you understand, samurai?”

“Hai, Yojiro-sama,” he says. “I understand completely.” There’s a twinkle in his eye when he says that.

And yes, a Ninja Shapehsifter did indeed attempt to kill the Emperor. And yes, the Scorpions stopped it.

And that leads us to the next part of our story.

“You Killed Her.”

They touched the Shapeshifter with crystal: the anathema of the Ninja. It’s true form, a smoky mist, fell to the floor, oozing to a corner of the room. The Scorpions surrounded it with their weapons of crystal as it took a new form& a familiar form&

Now for those of you who don’t know, the most popular character in L5R is the Lady of Scoripons, Lady Kachiko. I cannot think of any other character who garners more devotion than the Lady. Devotion and love.

Word got out that No Regrets was being read on Saturday. Everyone knew that Kachiko had gone down below Bayushi castle to face the source of the Ninja: Living Shadow. Whether she succeeded or failed& no one knew. Of course, everyone had assumptions. “John’s killing her,” some guessed. Or, even worse, she’s devoured by the Living Shadow (a nasty concoction of The Wife’s, I’m afraid).

But they’d find out.

On Saturday at 4 PM.

At long last, I was reading No Regrets on Saturday afternoon. For better or worse, Kachiko’s last words would be spoken.

On Saturday.

But it was still Friday night at the LARP. And that Shapeshifter (me!) oozed into the corner and took a familiar shape& The Lady of Scorpions. Bayushi Kachiko.

I described her bound by talons of darkness. Fear in her eyes. Her fingers twitching for freedom. Then, a disembodied voice spoke:

WE HAVE HER. BELOW BAYUSHI CASTLE. SHE IS OURS.

Not a single Scorpion moved. I didn’t see a single one of them take a breath.

IF YOU TOUCH US, WE WILL KILL HER.

They stood paralyzed, the color draining from their faces.

All but one of them. A young lady with a spider web for a mask. She turned to the ref (my buddy Dave Williams) and said, “Can I do something?” There was something in her voice. I felt a shudder in my stomach. I knew what was about to happen.

“Sure,” Dave said.

“I attack.” She paused, and took a long look at me.

She knows, I thought. She knows me. She knows I’m not bluffing. She knows that one way or another, Kachiko dies tomorrow. And she’s going to&

She pantomimed the sword in her hands arcing over her head. And with her movement, she cried out in a voice that was full of passion, fury and fear.

“Forgive me, my Lady,” she said. Her voice broke on the second syllable.

I looked at Dave. He knows me. I know him. He knows what has to happen. There’s no test. Her blade slices through the shadow and the shape of Kachiko is torn in half.

Just as her blade cuts through the fake flesh, I tell them this:

“Her blade strikes, the talons twist in pain. Then, they find Kachiko’s neck and&”

I make a twisting movement with my head.I hear at least three of them gasp. Bayushi Betty - who dresses as Kachiko every year, who made me a beautiful Yojiro costume, who loves the game and the people who make it - almost screams.

And she ain’t acting.

The shadow melts into the corner and every single Scorpion in the room falls to their knees. More than a few fall to their faces. Two of them are nearly in tears. I could hear their thoughts as clear as if they said the words.

John’s reading No Regrets tomorrow. And we just watched her die.

Only the young lady who made the strike still has her eyes on me. She’s making sure the thing is dead. No, not just dead.

Dead, dead, dead.

And as it falls into nothing, it looks at her with Kachiko’s eyes and my lips whisper:

IT WAS YOU. YOU KILLED HER.

And the shadow fades into nothing.

The Scorpions are still on the floor. The rest of the samurai start asking questions. The Scorpions don’t move. Not one of them.

I stand up (after melting into the floor) and walk over to Dave.

“You are a sick bastard,” he tells me. He knows what I’m doing. His words aren’t hateful, they’re full of something else. Maybe admiration. Then again, Dave and I have always been chapter members of the Mutual Admiration Club.

Just then, I turn and see their eyes, all full of silent questions.

I give them a silent answer.

Wait ’till tomorrow.

* * *

Which is what you’ll have to do. Tomorrow is Saturday in GDJ-land. The Land of No Regrets.

See you then.