In his latest article, Entertainment, Mark wrote:



“The new games are for entertainment; the old ones were challenging.”



I have to say I found that statement to be rather odd. For me, all games are about entertainment. I see entertainment as fun and if I’m not having fun with a game, I’m not going to play it more than once. Sure, sometimes I might get frustrated with a game like Tetris if I can’t get past level five or something like that, but I’ll come back and try it again later.



As I’ve said many times in my articles, I believe RPGs are all about fun. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that if your not having fun, or if your causing others to not have fun, you are doing something wrong. That concept led me to my idea for this article - We often talk about other players and GMs as the ones who are problems in our group. However, we very rarely look to ourselves as the potential problem player/GM. Why is that?



It’s been said often that it’s easier to point out the flaws in others than it is to see our own flaws. I think this is very true when talking about a team event like RPGs. Everyone has to hold up their end or the game will not be as much fun as it could be. Most team events have coaches or trainers working to provide feedback to everyone so that they know what areas need work. One of the reasons that this needs to happen is that most people don’t see themselves as not holding up their end. It’s always the “other guy” who’s not doing his part. We need others to help us achieve a higher/better level of play.



Most gamers I know think of themselves as good gamers. They get into character, really focus on the game, are good at adding descriptions to encounters and do their best to make sure that everyone else stays on task. If, when someone brings up a issue with something they are doing during gameplay, they are certain that it is the other person’s inability to deal with them that is the problem.



I guess what I’m getting at here is that everyone needs to be able to take criticism in there games. It’s gonna happen. Maybe not like it did to me in Why did that happen?, but it’s gonna happen. Someone you game with is going to bring up an issue with your gaming style and you’re going to have to deal with it.



I’ve found that how someone deals with criticism that we can tell what kind of person they are. Criticism hurts. No two ways around it. Especially if it’s criticism about something you really love to do like gaming. No one wants to be told that all those times you thought you were being funny quoting Python you were, in fact, annoying the heck out of the GM and the other players.



When you get the criticism, you’ve got the right to be hurt, but you need to think before you speak. Don’t snap back at the person, don’t react without really thinking of what you are going to say. Tempers can flare when this type of thing happens and I’ve seen more than one game group fall apart because someone didn’t know how to deal with a critical view of their gaming style. One of those times I was the one who lost his temper and broke up the game. While that was not a proud moment for me, learned that if you feel like jumping on the person who’s giving you the criticism, say something like: “Really? I’m doing that?” or “Wow, I didn’t know that was a problem.” Don’t take your frustration or anger out on your fellow gamers. Think before you act.



It’s also a good idea to invite the others in the group to offer you suggestions on how to improve. Then, when the group sees you honestly trying to make it work they will know you are a person who means what you say and cares about your fellows. If you are trying to work on things, the group will see it support you and help you along the way. Most folks don’t want to loose friends if they can help it.



There is another option available. I personally feel it’s the most difficult option but sometimes, albeit very rarely, you’ve gotta leave the group. Maybe not forever, maybe just for this campaign, but sometimes you gotta leave. If your game style is radically different from the rest of the group’s, and if you don’t want to change to fit the group, you should leave. By staying you are only going to hurt the rest of the group and ruin their fun.



Leaving the group isn’t a “quit before they can fire me” move. This is a sign of a person who knows things aren’t working and is willing to admit it. Again, it’s not an easy thing to do, and I only suggest this as a last resort (I’ve only done this three times myself). Trying to work with the group and giving their suggestions and honest try is always preferred to leaving.



Well, that’s enough out of me. See you all in the Forums!