“Lady Tonya, Lady Tonya,” the lilting voice of young Aileen came up the narrow book and pamplet aisles of the Empowerment Bookstore, and my visitor perked up. Typical male, that he was, Conrad Jenkins had been barely polite to the two ladies over by the pamplet stapling center just because both had such self-image issues, and wounded souls that they both weighed in two hundred pounds more than was good for them. The tight pink spandex was a nice color on Jana, and the mauve green office suit worked well for Millie. And they worked hard unlike the more attractive by the standards of the Patriarchy who would never drop a bead of sweat in labor so I liked them.
Aileen came around the corner, a vision of floating blonde hair in a loose and light crinkled linen top, and a mini-skirt that drew attention to her legs, which was okay because women are not supposed to be ashamed of their bodies. The blonde nymph type came to a halt to see a Man sitting in the chair, lounging indolently and insolently, in front of the desk of the great Lady.
Conrad came up to his feet to introduce himself, and I swatted him with whatever was handy which turned out to be a stapler.
“Quit being such a lech.” I snapped, as he winced, and sat back down.
“Great Scott, Tonya, break a fellow’s arm why don’tcha?”
I shrugged off his complaint. I had not hit him that hard Granted, it would have caused tears from a female, but men don’t feel pain like women do.
“Who is….?” I gave Aileen a few props for noticing. Now we had occasonal men in here, workers for the Cause, but Conrad, well, he just did not fit into their mold. He sat there politely enough in his blue jeans and boots, his red corduroy shirt, and his denim jacket, and his calm brown eyes, and it was like having a savage sit for high tea.
“An old associate.” I said.
“Oh. OH!” Aileen said, and then said again, her voice rising. She’s young. Worse she’s drawn the completely wrong conclusion. I and Conrad are versers, extradimensional travellers, and we had met with a few others of our kind, accidentally bumped into each other in another world. I knew for a fact that Conrad could shoot the eye out of a man at two hundred yards because he had done so when one of the local security police had tried to grab me. We had cooperated in overthrowing a corrupt and nasty empire, but after it, well, I had been the odd woman out. I had wanted to create a society based on justice and love, but they had settled for ‘making sure the kiddies have daddies not in prison camps’ as Conrad had put it.
Conrad chuckled.
“Just friends, and allies. At the time anyways.”
This seemed to please Aileen for some reason. Thus I was a bit stiff when I asked her why she had come in.
“They caught the Bay Area Blade.” I smiled and she smiled, and the two pamphlet staplers smiled. This was great news. For the last month, a madman with a knife had been terrorizing young women in the Bay City and nearby. Murder followed by bodily mutilations so that closed caskets were necessitated. He had murdered four women, and nearly got a fifth who had escaped by jumping off a second story balcony.
Women the area over had been taking to going to the bathroom in twos, and to the car in fours. It had been a great example of sisterhood empowerment. Hopefully, some of that spirit would be remembered when things got back to normal.
“You’re welcome.” Conrad murmured in Arindiskondi, a language no one in this universe knew. I turned my eyes on Conrad who shrugged beneath their accusing weight.
“Heard some pschyo was operating. Didn’t take much work to hack the local spy sats, and then run a twenty-third century optical refiner and object associaltion scan on the data, and back track the villain. Left a few incriminating bits of data….”
“It was him, not made up.”
Conrad looked a bit offended, and then sighed.
“I’m willing to play a joke on someone, but send someone up for the High Jump as a joke? No.” I relaxed, not really expecting any other answer, but Conrad did have a diabolical sense of humor at times. And with his programs, he could have taken the useless data mud gathered by the inferior photosats, and turned it into the gold of actionable intelligence. It was well within his abilities.
Aileen was twisting her hands a bit as she listened to us babble in a foriegn language, and I looked over at her when we were done.
“It’s Doctor James Bellum.”
I sucked in my breath, dissapointed, and shocked. I had met the good…err evil doctor. Shook his hand. Signed petitions calling for a recount as he had lost his chance to be a judge in a general election.
He…he was one of us.
We were all crying, except for Conrad, and he soon got the tale from the others. Then he stood, and came around the desk, and diffidently; at first, and then more strongly hugged me. After a second, I hugged him back.
“It hurts so much.”
“When you trust someone, and they sneak around behind your back, and spit on everything you love…” At first I thought he was talking about the disagreement in the other universe, but we had played our game straight with each other. “…Its going to hurt, a lot. Otherwise you’r e not human.” I clung to his neck the more, and whispered a vow.
So it was that we gathered the Friends of Feminism, and made our way that night down to the courthouse where we planned on holding a moonlight, candle vigil for the dead women. Now, as we got closer, we had to park our cars in a tiny gravel covered lot, and pile out, but with fifty of us, and most of us female, I still was not afraid to be on the street, especially with Conrad around. He was not carrying a candle, but he made no witticism either. And his mere presence assured us all, even the men among us.
You just knew he would protect you, which was stupid because we did not need protecting, but nice all the same, even if oppressive and evil.
We walked down the sidewalk next to a an old brick building, and out onto the open square in front of the courthouse which I knew well as I visited it at least twenty times a year for marches and sit-ins. Some inexperienced little so and so tried to direct me to a location away from the front, but I ignored her, and squirmed past the Nation of Peacers, and the others. I was pleasantly suprised to see so many of my fellows in the Cause had gotten the word.
Up front, near the stands, I caught the eye of Frieda, from Channel Nine, who pretended to be objective, but was actually paid an extra thousand a month under the table for her service to the Cause. She came over, trailing her camera guy (which made Conrad snark about where was the camera girl. Really, the TVcam was huge. Conrad was being typically silly.
And so I started in on my prepared speech, about how we were all here to remember the four dead women, killed by male violence when…
SLAM. An elbow went into my side.
“Say what, witch? My man, the good doctor is being railroaded because of his race.”
He glared down at me, and my body ached from the punishing blow.
“He’s a killer.” I breathed out.
“What? I can’t hear you.” He said mockingly, knowing full well that he had knocked the wind from my lungs. And then he turned to glare down at Frieda. “None of this gets on air, right?” She looked frightened and sad at me, but then nodded to him, and backed up as he glared at her until she was out of his range. Then he turned back to me, and I was trembling.
“Now, you little Conservative Nazi plant, you take your little…”
Crunch.
He howled, grabbing at his foot, and Conrad stood next to him.
“I’m sorry. Did I drive my metal reinforced boot down on the top of your foot, breaking every last foot bone you have?” And then he caught the bottom of the hopping man’s foot, the damage foot, and flipped the man on his back.
“My people will…”
A sword appeared in Conrad’s hand.
“Your little serial killed whacked woman with a kitchen knife. I prefer something more substantial myself, but I only use it on jerks. Funnily enough…”
“Violence solves nothing.” Aileen said, clinging to his sword arm. Smoothly, not letting her encumber him, or peeling her off either, he switched the sword to his other hand.
“Funnily enough, true story, there was this whole dozen guys who were about to hurt my friend here, Tonya, and I yanked her out through the cell door window after breaking the window with a small bomb, and then I tossed in afterwards a napalm bomb. All of them burnt to death.” He smiled at the man on the ground, and I remembered the incident. Oh, how had they screamed, but no one after that so much as raised a hand to me as I walked as messenger through jungles and ruined cities.
He smiled again at the man on the ground, and poked him with the swordtip..
“And I bet violence has converted this man into a lifelong and very loyal friend because he realizes that if anything happens to you or yours, I’m going to feed him slowly into a lawnmower.”
The man on the ground had gone gray, and was gobbling out his intentions of being a very loyal and true friend. Conrad let him go. He looked at me, and I nodded thanks.
We held our vigil, but no one joined us. And no one put us on tv, and the next day, we had four grants cancelled, and the landlord started being snippy about our rent.
I quit. It was the only way to save the Bookstore.
And over the next month, I saw my ‘friends’, but they turned away from me for I was tainted. I was no longer pure. And then I saw Conrad, and he smiled at me, and asked me if I wanted to learn about true empowerment. Hopeless, I shrugged, and went with him to the Mankiller’s Club where the women wore every manner of clothing under the sun, from camo, to high heels and haute couture, to mom jeans, to bycycle maniac spandex, but they laughed with each other, and with their men, and each and every one of them sported a pistol hung on a belt about their waist.
It took me a while, but now I’m a pretty good shot, and I walk to my car alone. And last week, some punks called after me, and I turned and gave them a tongue-lashing for a goot ten minutes, while holding my pistol in a solid Weaver stance pointed at their leader’s brainless skull. They can walk on the other side of the street when they see me coming. I am woman, this is my city, hear me roar.