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Jhiaxus Japes

(21 posts) (2 voices)

Started 1 year ago by Tadeusz
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Tadeusz
Member

You feel yourself starting to dream, and then a force grabs you, and reassembles you with a sudden lurch of power. And you see all about you the stone walls of a cave, and you're standing up.

A three foot tall man with a red fez, and red robe with alchemical symbols, and chalk dust on his hands is staring at you in horror.

"No, no, I said a baird, a bird. Wings. Something to get me out of here. Magus the Incompetent! And Slightly Interested! I swear if I get out of this to buy a chicken to sacrifice to Strom the Huge and Kinda Dumb!"

He stares at you balefully. You see a door off to his left. Pounding noises are coming from the door. Around your feet is a glowing red circle with alchemical symbols.

"You are not a giant bird." He informs you.

Wed Sep 29 2010 5:48 pm #
Jhiaxus
Member

*looks around, takes in the situation, and knows he has just been summoned, cracking his neck and getting to his feet, Axe in one hand drawing the Bowie Knife in the other*

"Your powers of observation are truly astonishing."

*marching up to the door, to just beyond where it would reach if bashed in, ready to unleash his blades and eye to whatever is about to rush in*

Jhiaxus

Wed Sep 29 2010 5:59 pm #
Tadeusz
Member

"You're supposed to be a gi-ant, singun', baird." He insists through a mouth that looks like its received amateur dentistry attempts several time. "Can you fly?" He points toward the distant spot of a cave mouth. "Odderwise, da sporks ill get us."

And then the door crashes in, and a half-dozen, green skinned, pig snouted 'sporks' attack with screaming fury. You hack the first one down to the ground, and go over the head of the second three foot tall (as they all are) orc, and then they get up to your waist and in your space, and spoil your last shot with the axe. One butt slams you with his axe in your stomach, but it only bruises you.

Thu Sep 30 2010 1:47 am #
Jhiaxus
Member

*getting annoyed by the mouth breather*

"If I could fly, why would I, there are only six orcs."

*changing his methods to using the gold swing method to dealing with the orcs*

Jhiaxus

Thu Sep 30 2010 1:59 am #
Tadeusz
Member

You clock the first three down in one mighty swing, and only one in the second line has enough presence of mind to lunge and stab you in the chest. It hurts, but not mortally. A jagged line of fire runs through your shoulder, and hinders your next swing back so that you only knock down one orc. The last two flee. The one on the ground still living jumps up preparing to flee.

"We're alive, we're alive." He pauses from his victory dance to smile at you. Its a hideous sight. Whatever skills this world has, dentistry is not one of them. There are enough cavities in his mouth to send a dentist on a two week vacation to Hawaii. "Sir giant, you have my magic to thank for your arrival in the wondrous world of Lamarkia."

Thu Sep 30 2010 2:14 am #
Jhiaxus
Member

*I sit down a little hurt*

"I am Jhiaxus, Chosen One of Odin, so I'm a giant here, that's interesting. Do you know any healing magic, I did take a shot or two? Or I could try myself depending on how bad off I feel."

*considers for a moment reaching out to see if any versers are here and checks the starsong comm for any texts*

"So what kind of world of Lamarkia? It can't be much worse than my last experience. Is there a sun here at least?"

Jhiaxus

Thu Sep 30 2010 2:22 am #
Tadeusz
Member

"Oh, yes, I can pray to Nina of the Sweet Dimples. She likes everyone. Um, yes, you are a giant. How can you not know you are a giant if you are a giant, you see what I mean?"

Meanwhile, he's sketching a circle around you, and putting in alchemical symbols. It looks like its going to take several minutes.

"I have never heard of Odin. Is he one of the Forgotten Several? We have fourteen and a half gods, but we've forgotten some of them."

You check the verser sense, and you get four. You check the starsong comm, and it doesn't work.

"Son? Yes, we have sons and daughters."

And with that he heals you with a quick invocation to Nina...

"Nina, this is your friend. You may not remember it, but I sacrificed a chicken to you on your birthday. I'm your friend, Nina, could you empower this circle for me?"

The circle glows...you're healed.

Thu Sep 30 2010 2:29 am #
Jhiaxus
Member

"Odin might be, he is the one eyed god of wisdom, of winning battles, and other things not as noteworthy, and I'm talking about the ball of fire in the sky that shines down, although it might be a moot point, one of my devices isn't working.*

*watches him work the circle*

"Interesting alchemy and circle magic, so tell me of your gods here."

*after feeling for versers*

*Seems there are four others of my mind here, very interesting*

*feels better*

"Well I do feel good now, I guess the circle magic does work."

Jhiaxus

Thu Sep 30 2010 2:37 am #
Tadeusz
Member

"Well, there is Magus the Incompetent and Slightly Interested who rules magic. Strom the Huge and Not that Bright who is the god of warriors. Nina of the Sweet Dimples who only remembers the last person to talk to her. Paksi Right-Handed, who carries the dead bodies in her basket to Paksi Left-Handed who reunites them with their souls, and then Mor the Ticket Clicker who checks if they have received the Bellis of Mercy, and if they have not, he uses them as catapult fodder to shoot down attacking demons. There's the Donkey, even though he claims not to be a god who pulls the world around the track around the sun. Eris too and Eris one. And there's Magus the Incompetent and Slightly Interested. Also, Nina of the Sweet Dimples..."

He pauses, looking confused.

"Whoever received the most chickens sacrificed to him in the last month is the chief deity for the next month."

You remind him about the sun, and he affirms that one of the gods has charge of it, but he's not sure which one.

"Oh, Tlangor the Hotheaded. Yeah, and the moon is ruled by Serai the Drunkard's Protector."

Thu Sep 30 2010 3:04 am #
Jhiaxus
Member

*takes all this in*

"Perhaps Odin is not part of the missing gods here, but he did send me here, so I suppose I should stay here, find the others."

*I listen to see if Chainbreaker is playing a song to listen for*

"So why were the Ork's after you."

*remembers the sailcar*

"I might have some transportation nearbye*

Jhiaxus

Thu Sep 30 2010 3:17 am #
Tadeusz
Member

Chainbreaker is singing a song about Napoleon, and then when you announce your plan to venture on it switches to 'Monster Mash'.

"Um...I'm in their dungeon, trying to loot it of valuable stuff."

You follow the sense of the scriff, and walk almost to the mouth of the tunnel. And there's your sailcar. However, its wheels are too wide to fit through the door the orcs just bashed in.

Beyond it, you can see mountainscapes covered by ice and snow, and a chill breeze gusts in every few seconds so that your holy alchemist is shivering in his robe.

"Do you transform into a baird like on Tuesdays or on the full moon?"

Thu Sep 30 2010 2:44 pm #
Jhiaxus
Member

*looks around and nods about the looting of the dungeon*

"Well, I can understand that, and since you summoned me, I should help."

*looks at the sailcar, wondering if I took off the wheels, could I could get it through to the outside when he is done*

"I would offer you some clothes if I had any that would fit, but let's go deeper into the dungeon, and clear it out, and figure out where to go."

*sighs*

"I don't transform into a bird, I don't fly, I wish I had a Legion of Superheroes Flight Ring about now though."

Jhiaxus

Thu Sep 30 2010 3:02 pm #
Jhiaxus
Member

*my intention is to help him loot the dungeon since he did summon me*

Fri Oct 1 2010 10:42 am #
Tadeusz
Member

It looks like you could get the sailcar through the door.

"Oh, its warmer away from the cave entrance." He says. "Although I do admire those leggings of yours. But its traditional for wizards to wear robes. It helps to be able to jerk your clothes off quickly when they catch on fire."

You walk down a fifteen degree slant or granite that is slick with dripping water for about forty feet, and you come to a pit trap complete with punji sticks that is ten feet deep and six feet wide.

In the wall on your side you see a basketball sized indentation.

There is a sign with five differing writings on it by different authors.

For safe passage, stick head in.
Kobald DO...followed by a crude crown.
Orc Do...followed by rusty axe
Goblen Do...followed by Kobald head
Unspeakable Horror Do....followed by a symbol that makes your eyes ache.

Fri Oct 1 2010 3:13 pm #
Jhiaxus
Member

*looks down*

"Oh my pants, or Jeans to be specific. They are nice garments, I won't wear a robe, looks too much like a dress to me."

*looks at the trap, and the message and drags the orc body back and sticks his head in the backetball sized indentation, interested to see the results*

Jhiaxus

Fri Oct 1 2010 3:46 pm #
Tadeusz
Member

A needle comes out of a wall, samples the blood in the orc's neck, and then retreats. Nothing else happens.

Fri Oct 1 2010 6:22 pm #
Jhiaxus
Member

*stick my head in*

Jhiaxus

Fri Oct 1 2010 6:25 pm #
Tadeusz
Member

A needle goes into your neck, and it starts sucking blood. You feel a faint vibration a few seconds later. Another needle goes into your neck, and a neck clasp pops down around your neck.

"Um, nothing is happening out here." The holy wizard says nervously.

Fri Oct 1 2010 6:35 pm #
Jhiaxus
Member

*let whatever happens, happens, If I die so be it, gets me away from the annoying wizard*

Jhiaxus

Fri Oct 1 2010 6:41 pm #
Tadeusz
Member

You verse out.

Fri Oct 1 2010 6:57 pm #
Jhiaxus
Member

http://gamingoutpost.com/discussions/topic/jhiaxus-in-june

New thread

Fri Oct 15 2010 12:39 am #

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