"Protections against mind reading?" she says, wide-eyed. "You can do that?"
She accepts your comments about having to stay under the radar. After all, it suggests that you might marry her if you could, but at the moment it's just too dangerous.
--M. J. Young
"Protections against mind reading?" she says, wide-eyed. "You can do that?"
"Anything's possible, right? I don't have any training at it, like the police probably do, but I'm a fair hand at inventing the techniques I really need. Thought-to-thought stuff is the simplest kind of psionic skill, anyway. Problem is, I know it's possible to detect psionic activity psionically - I've done something similar, but more complicated, myself - so I can't be sure that any experimentation I do won't be picked up on a routine scan.
"If I could be sure it wouldn't be detected, though . . . I tell you what, I would be training like mad. I'd spend a few years turning my mind into an iron-clad fortress, and then I'd start in on the fun stuff. I've been working on some magic spells to shield my activities from discovery, but like I've said, I don't think magic's very dependable here. Maybe a psionic shield that wouldn't look like a shield to the detector's eye . . ."
If Alice doesn't have anything in response to this, I'll probably remember why I came here in the first place and bring the conversation back around to the original (pre-pillowfight) 'point', but I imagine she'll weigh in with something.
What she asks is, "Can you teach me that? I mean, if we can hide our thoughts from the police, we're a lot safer, no matter what we did. They say you can't learn that if you're not a latent psychic, but I wonder if they really know that. I mean, simply telling people we can't learn it might be enough to keep most people from even trying, and I don't think anyone's ever heard of being able to hide your thoughts from the police."
--M. J. Young
"Huh. Well, that's either a lie, or it's just coincidence that I and everyone I met in Columbus could do it once we were taught. Or maybe it's true here . . . or maybe it's just that some people learn more easily than others. That's true of everything.
"The only way to find out's to try it, right? I already said I haven't worked out a psychic defense yet, but I wouldn't want to start with that anyway; do you speak a foreign language? Any Spanish, say?"
I want to start her off with mind-reading, as I was, but I don't want to start with reading minds; that leaves the language-center tap as the best candidate. If she doesn't speak any Spanish, I'll open up with my 1@3 Deflect Notice M5@1*, check it with my 1@2 Detect Active Magical Power P3@10, and (regardless of either's success) proceed to teach Alice Read Language Center P1@1 to the best of my ability - that is, employing my 1@1 Teaching P0@1 and my 1@2 example (imparted by use of my 1@1 Project Psionic Skill Pattern P1@2).
If she does speak Spanish already, I'll think of something else. If she's unwilling to learn things my way - insistent on learning a defense first, for instance - I'll deal with that according to the particulars of her objection. The idea is that once she has the pattern, I'll recite the words from one of my incantations (the Deflect Notice again, say) and she, tapping my language centers, will be able to follow the meanings.
Edit: Going through the mechanics thread to update my records, I rediscovered the Enhanced Ritual version of that Deflect Notice skill. If my detection comes up empty, I will attempt the Enhanced Ritual before moving on to the lesson (but I will not reattempt the detection).
She does not know any Spanish, so that will work. You cast the simpler detect notice skill, and then attempt to detect the active magical power and very certainly detect nothing there. You attempt the more complicated ritual, but again even more clearly determine that it did not work.
You fail to transfer the pattern to her, but still describe in clear detail how it is done. Nervously she closes her eyes and then says--in Spanish--va.
It appears to have worked. She's startled by it, and starts jumping up and down, squealing excitedly.
--M. J. Young
"H-hey, now, don't get too excited. This is great, and all, you made a huge breakthrough, but there're people living underneath us, y'know?"
I'm nervous, now, and not nearly so excited as she is. I'm immensely pleased at her success and the things that it implies about the nature of reality and possibility here, but I'm also just now realizing that this is a path I wasn't at all prepared to walk down - at least not yet. She's going to want to learn more, right away, and I'm going to want at least a day or two to think before I do anything rash. Anything else rash.
__
Hope to post again, may not before you open the threads.
Indeed she does want to know what else she can or should learn, and when you're going to teach her to protect her mind from the mind reading abilities of the psi police.
But I'll let you post again....
--M. J. Young
"All right, very well done, I'm proud of you, that was an excellent proof of concept, however. There are two good reasons that I'm not going to teach you anything else today, and probably not tomorrow, either. First and most important: the last time I saw I bunch of neophytes getting taught brand-new psionic abilities willy-nilly, the city of Columbus exploded. I mean that literally; concussive force radiating outward killing everyone. Second: even if were to teach you everything I know right now, I don't actually have any method for preventing someone from reading my mind - or, y'know, controlling it, which I'm certain is possible. I'll need to come up with something, and I'll want to be sure it's reliable and safe before I pass it on to you. Probably I'll come up with several somethings, and once I know which is best I'll start you off with that one.
"In the meantime . . . this is a major change to my game plan. I'll need time to restrategize. You know, think about my approach to . . . living in this world. Changing it. Like that."
Smile:
"Not that I blame you for being excited or for wanting to steam on, full speed ahead. That ritual is meant for fairly long-term use, so you should be feeling effects for at least a day or two. You're my first little test subject, so be sure to let me know how that goes, all right?"
She agrees.
With that, things will return to business as usual over the next few days, as you return to work. Do you have other irons in the fire I should have remembered?
--M. J. Young
For reference, that was Tuesday, September 4th, the day after my most recent excursion to Round Valley State Park.
Do you have other irons in the fire I should have remembered?
No, but I have several I'm about to put in. In order of term (short- to long-):
* Discuss with Alice potential business plans for leveraging Eris's apparent willingness to grant feel-good blessings into positive cash-flow; consider her input as I devise such a plan; implement the plan in hopes of eventually replacing my current night-labor dependent income
* Devise an array of mental defenses, psionic wards, and misdetections capable of keeping me safe and appropriate (to some limited degree) for passing on to Alice. Easier to accomplish if I'm no longer working 42-hour weeks.
* Continue to guide Alice's (pre-)magical education. Reliable magical shielding from detection would help with almost everything, but I think it's a long way off - especially with her interest in psionics presenting competition.
Actually, I suppose that last counts as in the fire, but I don't recall the latest development on that front.
I believe that you were having an extended discussion with Alice about faith and magic, about believing the myths, as it were. I think you had reached the place where she was accepting the notion that there were gods and there was thus supernatural energy. (I'd say your holy backrub was also rather persuasive in that regard.)
I think, then, that we should be looking at how you expect to market your new-found talent for making people feel good.
--M. J. Young
I'll wait until I have more data on the pleasure/comfort effect before moving into marketing, actually (taken via self-report from the subject, naturally). Beyond monitoring Alice until we're sure she's no longer, er, "under the influence," the only move I'll make on this front is an idle inquiry (directed at Alice) as to where and how people get pamphlets and playbills and the like printed up. Possible agents of such activity: local bands of musicians (not likely), social groups attempting to recruit members (book clubs? bowling leagues?), people with lost pets. Also, do I see any such things posted while I'm out of doors, or are the lampposts and other public spaces bereft of fliers and posters?
On Wednesday, I make a list (from memory) of psionic defenses:
* Mind Blank
* Tower of Iron Will
* Intellect Fortress
* Thought Shield
* Mental Barrier
That last added after a long moment of thought. Buggered if I can remember the difference between Mental Barrier and Intellect Fortress. I think Intellect Fortress was stronger, in general, but there were nuances I just can't recall.
I do remember, though, that of all them only Mind Blank could be maintained indefinitely and without cost, and I seem to remember it provided some measure of concealment against telepathic detection. It's the defense every psionicist starts with for free, so it should be relatively simple*, and it's exactly what I want. When I'm rested, refreshed, and ready on Thursday afternoon, I will shut myself up in Alice's bedroom and attempt to develop this.
This will be a state of mind perhaps difficult to slip into, but indefinitely sustainable once achieved, wherein the surface mind vanishes entirely, its functions and activities entirely subsumed by the deep mind. While in this state, for the purposes of any attempt to detect, send, manipulate, or interpret thought or consciousness (and perhaps intelligence), I would not exist; the surface mind on which these effects depend would be as emptiness, unaffected and unaffecting. To those powers which access or target deep structure - Probe comes to mind, as does Psychic Crush - I would remain vulnerable (perhaps even be more vulnerable, due to the shifting of surface mind functionality into these areas), but insofar as these efforts required my mind to be located or targeted, I might be afforded some measure of protection via "concealment," as it were.
Even if I don't get anywhere after a couple of hours, I still go to the local park for my routine as usual, and I want to talk with Alice about magic for a bit between dinner and work.
All skill design notes composed without reference to rules materials. Additional clarification about my version of Mind Blank, mechanical or otherwise, available upon request.
Oh, and I seem to recall the Mystic Massage skill check was a successful 98, so at RS/20 days, we're looking at Sunday night before the effect wears off (barring the unforeseen), and my skill learning attempt and conversation rest unresolved on Thursday evening, so I expect my data will consist mainly of "yup, still going" until after next post.
__
* Pretending that AD&D rules supplements have pan-universal validity comforts me.
You succeed in clearing your mind in a way that seems to provide the kind of protection you seek.
Because of the nature of the skill, it is "required" that your character activate it when he awakens (it will not function while he sleeps, at least in its current form), but it will be rolled in response to need. If someone attempts to read your mind, detect psionics in use within it, or attack the upper layers, any successful roll will give absolute protection; for deeper skills, it will make targeting more difficult, giving a penalty against success.
Alice is available at dinner time.
--M. J. Young
Beautiful. Absolutely stunning. If my mind is still Blank just before I fall asleep at dawn, I will consider this a success. Experiments on additional defenses can wait until I'm sure this one is as reliable as I intend.
I hope to diplomatically steer Alice's interest away from psionic instruction for the time being and back toward exploration of magical mysteries. But I let this post sit for several hours, and now I don't want to write that conversation yet, so I'll leave that for next post and do this instead:
In the dual interests of sharing the wealth and sating my whimsical curiosity, I will endeavor to get Iggy to sit still - well, still enough - for two minutes with my holy symbol on his head while I try out my Mystic Massage on his august person. If I succeed in finishing the attempt, I'll do my best to discern whether or not it had any effect.
It'll be fun, anyway, whatever happens.
I see no reason why the spell would not work on an iguana. I am mostly wondering how you get said iguana to stay still while you place a ring of wingnuts on its head and gently poke it all over its body. I can imagine that it might happen to happen that way, but before I see how it happens to happen I thought I'd let you suggest any ideas you have on how to make that happening more probable.
--M. J. Young
Maybe try when he's asleep. That could work if I was careful.
Don't think that's likely, though, so I'll just ask him to sit still and be patient for a minute, and to trust me. That will be with Project Thought, of course, so . . .
wait, why isn't Project Thought on my sheet? I could swear I've used it on Iggy before, and maybe on Mr. Tea before that. The Behind the Screens thread is little help:
Apparently my being derailed caused me to overlook Scott's attempt to contact Iggy. The roll is a successful 16. He's also got a 20 GE on bringing an iguana into the diner.
-dig dig dig-
Ah, nevermind, I have 1@3 Telepathy to Animals (learned it in Columbus), which never made it onto my copy of the sheet either. I'll have to look into Project Thought later, though. Back to the post . . .
. . . I mean, that'll be Telepathy to Animals, of course, so of course I'll use my Deflect Notice (the Enhance Ritual version with the wingnuts and the singing) beforehand to guard against psi-K9 units catching a whiff of telepathy. (I will not bother with detection to see if it worked; either it worked or it didn't, and so the detection is either a waste of time or an ironic error in judgment.)
To be clear:
* Deflect Notice (Enhanced Ritual): intended to mask my activities in preparation for and execution of this experiment with Iggy
* Telepathy to Animals: let Iggy know that I'll be putting something on his head and ask him to stay still for a bit (reason: trust me)
If he cooperates, move on to the Induce Pleasure/Comfort; if he's skeptical or restless, assure him that it won't hurt him and suggest that he "try sitting still until I say so, just to see what happens," and use Great Scott to convince him that's a good idea.
If he still doesn't want to, I won't force it. There's always later.
I do have 1@2 Project Thought P1@2 listed on my copy of your sheet, between 1@3 Visual Tap P1@1 and 1@1 Project Psionic Skill Pattern P1@2. I would note that because Iggy has an animal mind, it is easier to contact him with Telepathy to animals (quite apart from the 1@3 SAL) because project thought would take the animal minds penalty and telepathy to animals would not.
You cast the protection shield comfortably, but fail to connect with Iggy using Animal Telepathy. What then?
--M. J. Young
Try the project thought instead, and if that fails, just hope he cooperates (and if he doesn't, as I said before, don't force it). I have a little experience with cat wrangling, but nothing that I'd suppose would be recorded as a skill.
Iggy seems to hear and understand your thought communications.
He also seems to become remarkably relaxed and happy when you complete your casting.
--M. J. Young
Brilliant. That means I've hit on something at least apparently replicable, like the Turkey Curse*, rather than a one-time whim of the Goddess. My plan isn't ruined yet, and that's almost always good news.
I always post too much when I come back after more than a couple weeks, and I think this bit got lost in the chaos (even I forgot):
I'll wait until I have more data on the pleasure/comfort effect before moving into marketing, actually (taken via self-report from the subject, naturally). Beyond monitoring Alice until we're sure she's no longer, er, "under the influence," the only move I'll make on this front is an idle inquiry (directed at Alice) as to where and how people get pamphlets and playbills and the like printed up. Possible agents of such activity: local bands of musicians (not likely), social groups attempting to recruit members (book clubs? bowling leagues?), people with lost pets. Also, do I see any such things posted while I'm out of doors, or are the lampposts and other public spaces bereft of fliers and posters?
I've got some ideas brewing about finding Alice a fetish, to help with her magical debut, but I think I'll let them for the time being.
__
*You are not expected to know what this is.
I did see that, and pondered it.
There are no posters on the streets.
There are posters on bulletin boards in various businesses. You do have the "lost pet" variety and a few "for sale by owner" bits, but most of the ones you mention have a seal somewhere on them indicating that they are approved by one or another division of the government--bowling leagues by the Division of Recreational Activities, book clubs by the Division of Education, bands by the Division of Approved Entertainments, and so on. Alice has never gotten anything like that printed, but she knows that there are registered printers who know how to take someone through the steps of getting authorization and then getting businesses to permit the postings.
--M. J. Young
I'm not touching government authorization procedures with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole. Word of mouth it is.
Thursday afternoon in the park, be on the lookout for a likely customer - adult at minimum, age otherwise irrelevant, male preferable - anyone within those guidelines who might be tired, sore, or (at minimum) stationary. I will approach this person near a bench (they've sat down on it already, for preference).
"Hi, I'm William." Hello, William. "I'll get right to it. How'd you like to make five dollars in five minutes?"
(I've brought maybe ten five dollar bills with me. They're in my right shorts pocket. I have no shortage of small bills at home, thanks to my sub-table income.)
_
Edit: And of course I'm interested in V-me's opinion of whether he maintained his Mind Blank until bedtime Wednesday, and of course either way I want to reinitiate it upon waking with the intent of keeping it up until once again unconscious.
It's difficult to be certain about the blank mind, because you are mostly conscious of it when you attend to whether it is operating, at which point it usually is, but whether that's because you've restarted it as simply as that or because it was working all along is much less certain.
I'm afraid that today it's raining, and the only people at the park are hard-core joggers who are intent on doing their run and getting inside, dog walkers struggling with umbrellas in one hand and leashes in the other, and one old guy sitting by the pond feeding soggy bread to the ducks seemingly oblivious to the fact that he's soaking wet despite the Gorton's-of-Gloucester style yellow rain hat.
--M. J. Young
. . . well, alright. I'll just alter my approach.
I'll walk over (absent even the protection of a yellow rain hat) and sit next to the man feeding the ducks. I'll wait a moment, then,
"Nice day, huh?"
(This is said with quiet appreciation; if there is irony, it is deadpan.)
"They like it," he says. "And it's the kind of day when no one will bother you for sitting on a bench in the park."
--M. J. Young
"That's not a crime yet, is it? Sitting on a park bench, I mean."
It occurs to me that I could catch a cold, sitting in the rain like this and taxing my immune system. It also occurs to me that if I can fall into space without dying, I can probably protect myself from the rain. Then again, if I wait until I actually get sick and cure the disease, instead, I don't risk using psionics in the event that my immune system holds up after all.
These thoughts are fleeting.
"Who says you have to commit a crime for them to bother you?" He smiles knowingly, almost a gleam of confederacy in his eyes. "But you didn't bring bread, so you're not here for the ducks. And you don't look like you're here for the non-conformists, either. So, what brings you to my bench?"
--M. J. Young
"Ah. Well."
I look away, and then back.
"I've got a bit of a business venture I'm trying to get off the ground, so I was going to walk up to somebody on a park bench and bother them. But with this rain, you know. It keeps the sort of person I'd use a sales pitch on indoors. Or on the move, with an umbrella.
"So when I got here I figured that out, and I saw you. I like the rain, and you don't seem to mind it; and I thought maybe if I just explained to you what I was all about, and what I wanted to do, you'd trust me enough to try it out. I mean, I had a whole bunch patter and marketing and whatnot all worked out in advance, but this way I don't have to feel like a snake-oil salesman."
I really do like the rain, and ponds, and ducks. I won't mind if he's not interested, I think.
"I'm interested," he says. "Anyway, you seem comfortable in the rain, and that's not something most Americans are. Ever do any farming? I was a farmer, once, before the big coops took over so much of the land. Now I work the docks. Either way, you've got to be willing to work in the rain once in a while.
"So tell me, what's this business proposition of yours about?"
--M. J. Young
"Well -
"I'm working in a bar, making food nights, and I'd kind of rather not be if I could make money another way; I'd like to have more time for my side projects. Well, speaking of side projects, one of them's already borne fruit. I've come up with this technique for, ah, I guess it's a kind of physical therapy; long-lasting relaxation and comfort with minimal fuss. It's great -- it takes minutes, it lasts days, it's non-invasive - you could do it in public, if you cared to - and I've had pretty strongly positive results with it thus far.
"It seems like something there'd be a demand for, you know? Service industry. I mean, people pay massage therapists a lot more than I'd probably end up charging looking for essential the same result, and ninety percent of your over-the-counter medications are just indirect ways to try and get at what I'd be providing directly. Not that it's, strictly speaking, a medical procedure . . . and of course I'm not licensed to practice medicine, so that's a good thing. And it's not the kind of thing I could easily patent, and I'd like to avoid official advertising if I can . . .
"So I was hoping to rely on just word of mouth, work out of this park for a while until I built up enough of a customer base to take out a business address. But for there to be any word of mouth, there have to be folks who've tried the product talking about it, and I could envision it being tough to get people to try something that sounds as incredible as this is.
"I figure for my first few folks I'm not interested in charging so much as I am in convincing someone first-hand that this is real deal - making converts, you could say, not money."
(Of course if he has interjections I answer them at that time; this is only the flow of the monologue if he just lets me talk.)
He raises an eyebrow.
"So this is something you could do here on a park bench in the rain?"
He thinks about your answer (which I'm assuming amounts to "yes").
"Do I have to take my clothes off?"
He thinks about your answer (which I'm assuming is "no").
"And this is going to relieve me of some of these aches and pains and all that? And it's legal?"
--M. J. Young
"Yeah, sure. I mean, you'd get a little wet, but . . ."
"Nope. Well, maybe your hat, but I'm pretty good at balancing things, so . . . no, prob'ly not."
I think for an instant about waffling and not making any guarantees, but really - where's the faith?
"You'll feel lots better, that's for certain. And I would be flabbergasted if they'd gotten around to writing a law against this - even considering who we're talking about."
I assume he's getting around to volunteering, just as planned. If he's willing, I'm game. (I of course have my holy symbol with me, under my shirt because I'm in public.)
_
It occurs to me, out-of-game, that atheism in the subject could create a chance of failure for this skill; that hadn't been an issue before because whatever Alice's prior beliefs, I'd altered them to include a growing acceptance of the supernatural. I'm not sure whether total ignorance of religion (of the kind she displayed) would be better modeled as atheism or agnosticism in-game. I'd lean toward minimum-SAL atheism, but I haven't thought about it deeply. I'm interested in your analysis.
"Yeah, sure. I mean, you'd get a little wet, but . . ."
He laughs. "I don't think I can get much wetter than I am," he answers, "so that's probably not a problem."
I do see the problem. I'm inclined to think these people are minimum-SAL atheists, because they don't entertain the possibility that there might be gods or spirits or supernatural beings. I agree that it will make your chance of success slightly lower, but you still have pretty good odds, if I recall correctly.
He agrees and asks what the next step is. He also mentions that his wallet is empty, so if this is some elaborate scam to rob him there's nothing to take.
--M. J. Young
He also mentions that his wallet is empty, so if this is some elaborate scam to rob him there's nothing to take.
I laugh. "Are you kidding? I came out here with money to give away. Five-dollar satisfaction guarantee, payable in advance. If it turns out I'm a nutjob, you still made five dollars in five minutes. Win-win."
_
Posting this much, adding more later. Thought I would be awake to finish this, but apparently not.
"Keep your money. If it's all you say it is, I should pay you, and if it isn't, it's not likely to hurt me--and if it does, five dollars isn't going to pay the medical bills, is it?
"All right, what do I have to do?"
--M. J. Young
"Lie on the bench face down and take off your hat. You can lie on the ground if you'd rather, or sit, but it's important that I be able to reach your neck and your spine. Don't wiggle around during the treatment. It's okay if you move a little, it won't ruin anything, but it's better if you don't, so you should be comfortable. And relaxed, definitely relaxed; half-asleep would be best, but I'll take what I can get. Oh, and I'll be talking during the treatment, but you shouldn't worry about trying to respond. It's just part of the therapy; the words will do their part whether you're listening or not."
Once he complies,
"And I have to put this on your head. If you wiggle around it'll fall off and I might have to start over, so please don't. It's best if your mind is clear, but if you get mentally restless and you have to focus on something, I recommend focusing on the weight of this thing on your head."
(I don't show him the symbol when I say "this;" that's when I'm putting it on his head.)
And then I do the ritual. Hail Eris and hope this works.
The ritual is:
1@4 Induce Pleasure/Comfort M+13@1 Caster places his holy symbol atop the target's head and, in each hand, holds a wingnut while forming the numeral V sign; he then lightly pokes the target all over with both hands while pronouncing specific passages* selected from the Principia Discordia. The caster then snaps the fingers of both hands in the target's ears, saying, "There; feel better?" Target remains comfortable and feels pleasurable sensations for RS/20 days, which over time may result in +1 bonuses to all skills and attributes (including, additionally, averaged attributes) at the referee's discretion; sound necessary, TF 2:00, +49 SM
"Whoa," he says as you snap your fingers. He sits up, feels himself with his hands, stretches a bit. "A man ought not be able to do something like that to another man. Son, I'm not sure whether what you're selling ought to be legal, but as long as it is count me a customer. What do you expect to charge?"
--M. J. Young
"I have a rough idea, but I'm taking suggestions. What do you think it would be worth to you? Assume it lasts a day or two, and you have to be able to afford it for it to be worth it."
"Well, now, that's certainly an issue. I don't know how hard it is for you to do, but it seemed to take about five minutes, maybe; if they were lined up and waiting and you had two benches, you could probably do ten in an hour. Charge as much as a pack of cigarettes or a couple ales at the counter, maybe three bucks a shot, you could be collecting a healthy thirty dollars an hour, and some people would come every day. Make it ten bucks, and it's more like going to a movie, and a lot less people could afford it every day but some would, and some would come every week, and some would come once a month. But you could probably charge thirty dollars for it and still have one customer per hour all day all week--you'd just be looking at a more elite clientele, as they say, and seeing most of them monthly, some of them weekly, and a lot once or twice a year--like a beauty shop treatment. At least, that's how I see it. I'd like to be able to afford it every day or two, but if you charge as little as that and word gets out, you'll have to find another way to limit your customers or you're going to be overbooked pretty quickly."
--M. J. Young
"Good thoughts. Thank you, that's very helpful." Hmm.
"Well, I had in mind already I didn't want to charge any more than twenty dollars a pop, if only for convenience of currency. I like the idea of more customers, but I don't have a steady base of operations yet and I'll need to limit my clientele to those I can service when and where I'm available, at least at first; add in that I'd rather charge too much and bring it down later than charge too little and raise prices on my customers, and I'm thinking . . . fifteen dollars? Twelve? Twelve, that's about the cost of a good haircut with a tip, right? I'll want folks coming back more often than for a haircut, but if it's in that familiar service-type price range they might not notice - and besides, it's a higher-end product, so that's all right.
"Of course, for first time customers it'll be five dollars, to sweeten the deal and ease the transition, and at some point once I have more data on how long it tends to last I'll start selling bulk packages in advance at something of a discount.
"But for you, today, all I'm really expecting is that you spread the word, and thank you for your courage."
Also (possibly after additional words are exchanged, but perhaps not),
"Do you think if I were just in the park every day, for about four hours, at reliably the same spot, that people would come see me?"
"Well, if the guy at the cheap barbershop happens to be good, then yeah. You'll pay eighteen for a haircut at a stylist, and barbershops are hard to find anymore."Twelve, that's about the cost of a good haircut with a tip, right?
"Do you have a way of knowing which customers have never seen you before, or are you relying on memory?"Of course, for first time customers it'll be five dollars....
"No problem; but there aren't many people who sit and talk with that old coot who feeds the duck, you know, so I probably wasn't your best choice of spokesman. But I'll tell people if they'll listen."But for you, today, all I'm really expecting is that you spread the word, and thank you for your courage.
"Tough question. I mean, you need to attract attention, but you don't want to attract the wrong kind of attention, if you catch my meaning. You'll have that problem no matter what you do, of course, but since you probably can't open a licensed massage parlor you probably have to work on benches for the present. You'd be better off, of course, if you could win the favor of a few key people who would pay you to come to their homes and recommend your services to their friends, but that takes time, and you're not likely to meet those people on park benches, are you? So it looks like a rough way to start, but the only choice you really have, assuming you don't know some wealthy prospective patron who will get you started."Do you think if I were just in the park every day, for about four hours, at reliably the same spot, that people would come see me?
--M. J. Young
"Well, if the guy at the cheap barbershop happens to be good, then yeah. You'll pay eighteen for a haircut at a stylist, and barbershops are hard to find anymore."
"Yeah, I guess so. I've had my hair cut by the same barber all my life, so I guess I'm spoiled.
" . . . I guess I'll have to find another barber, huh? Now that I'm here, and all."
"Do you have a way of knowing which customers have never seen you before, or are you relying on memory?"
"Well, sure, I figure I'd . . . well, I'd have these, um . . . huh. Good point. Well, I guess I'd go by memory at first, and once I'd seen enough people that I couldn't remember them all, I'd just end the promotion."
You'd be better off, of course, if you could win the favor of a few key people who would pay you to come to their homes and recommend your services to their friends,
"Yeah, maybe, but that's not really the direction I want to go. Pleasure for the people, you know? We all need to loosen up a little, not just the rich folks."
Looking back a bit, today is Thursday, September 6th, the third day after my recent trip to Round Valley State Park.
"Well, I'm here every day anyway - rain or shine - so if anyone asks I'm here most every afternoon between four and six. I'll probably keep giving away free money, maybe through the end of next week; after that I'll probably phase into a money-back guarantee, so if anyone you talk to seems interested, tell 'em sooner's more profitable than later."
I think that probably concludes the business elements of the conversation (though I could be wrong).
"Well, I understand your idea of paying people to try it, but really, don't cheapen it. People are more likely to think something is worthwhile if you put a price on it. In fact, what you probably want to do once you've decided on your intended price is to go with a half-price introductory offer. That way people are paying you something, and feeling like they got a good deal. Word will probably get around."
Not trying to get the last word; I just thought that was something he'd suggest.
What next?
--M. J. Young
Go back into the routine, with the exception that while in the park doing my skateboard/Tur Ki Foo/falling practice I keep an eye out for likely targets (er, customers) to whom I can peddle my service: adult at minimum, age otherwise irrelevant, seated or stationary preferred, must have pockets or some other object which could contain money or a wallet (which would itself presumably contain money).
I'm not offering money to try it out; it's fourteen dollars, with a first-time customer discount of 50% for seven dollars if you buy today.
I'm not planning out my approach - better to do this on the fly, tailor the pitch to the mark - but just as a generic example, I could see myself trying something like:
"Hi, how're you doing?"
Generic response, probably "fine" or "all right" or "pretty good, yourself?" or something equally rote
"Oh, we can do better than that. I'm Scott Horton, I'm an entrepreneur; I've pioneered a revolutionary technique in the field of relaxation and pain relief. Five minutes from now, I could have you feeling better than you have in months, and I guarantee you'd still feel that way tomorrow."
That last sentence might wait, depending on my read of the potential customer, but it's only intended as an example, anyway. I'm confident of my ability to sell this without being creepy or coming across as pushy. I believe in my product, and I'm not desperate for sales. I'm an expert in my field with an answer for anything. I have nothing to hide, nothing to fear, and no competition worth mentioning.
I'll give this a week before reevaluating my strategy unless outcomes are dramatically outside of my expectations.
You pick up one new customer a day for the first five days. Then on the sixth day, you pick up a new customer, and one of your previous customers returns for another shot, and someone arrives who heard about it from a friend.
I make that $63 this week, if I'm doing the math right.
--M. J. Young
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