A Bonfire for Vanities

"The first to plead his case seems just, until another comes and examines him." -Proverbs 18:17

Seth Ben-Ezra walks into the Outpost. Looking around, he spots the official Gaming Outpost soapbox. It looks as if it has seen a lot of use. Ignoring the scorch marks from previous flame wars, he climbs onto the soapbox, looks around at the assembled gamers, and begins to speak.

I apologize for the interruption in the discussion of Alyria. For those of you who were wanting your Alyria fix, my apologies. However, this topic has been simmering in the back of my mind for quite some time now. Quite simply, I've been carrying this with me and I have decided that this is the best place to unburden myself.

Once upon a time, this article would have been a rant. Had I written this article even a few months ago, this rant could have been of monumental proportions. Fortunately I am now quite calm and instead of ranting or flaming, I shall merely declaim from atop the Gaming Outpost soapbox.

I am sick of industry professionals tossing around the term "vanity publishing" to describe small presses like Dark Omen Games. For those of you who do not know, "vanity publishing" is a term with heavy negative connotations. It implies that you have published a book or product merely for the rush of being in print. In essence, you have paid for bragging rights. "Look at me! I'm a published author." There are those in this field who would claim that unless you do not fulfill some unwritten list of obligations, such as attending the major conventions (GenCon, Origins, and most importantly the GAMA Trade Show), being on the various industry email lists, and producing a given amount of product per year, you are not really a professional game publisher. At best, you are just an amateur. At worst, you are a "vanity press".

Every time I hear this, I just want to scream. Let me be honest; I know that I don't meet with the criteria on "the list". In fact, it's impossible to meet them unless you take on this job full-time. I am not a full-time designer. I work a normal day job as a law librarian for a local law firm. I attend night classes trying to earn a degree in computer science. I am married with three children. In between this already packed schedule, I try to squeeze my business. I just cannot devote the time required by the "professionals".

I also do not have the funding that many "professionals" have. I am not going to be at GenCon this year. I cannot afford it. I was not at the GAMA Trade Show this year (although someone did rep for us). I could not afford it. I had the funding for one major convention, and so I opted for Origins, because I can drive there. I am operating on a shoestring budget and cannot afford a lot of the appearances that the "professionals" would seem to require.

And yet I'm proud to be a small press. If need be, I will adopt the title of "vanity press" with pride, boldly displaying my scarlet letter. You see, my greatest advantage as a designer actually is my part-time status. Unlike the "professionals", I do not need to feed myself or my family with the money that Dark Omen Games produces. The "professionals" have to make sure that they are continually producing marketable product. If they don't, they starve. It is just that simple. I, on the other hand, do not have this sword of Damocles hanging over me. All I need to do is meet my publishing and promotional expenses. I do not need to draw a salary from Dark Omen Games. This gives me something that the professionals do not have: freedom.

Tell me, when was the last time that a major gaming company released a game that was radical and innovative? I cannot think of any. No, I take that back. Everway was a radical concept for its time, and Wizards of the Coast gambled on that. Any other games? Dungeons & Dragons, Third Edition? I think not. 3e might have been necessary to carry D&D into the 21st century, but in many ways it is just catching D&D up to where the rest of us have been for a while. Don't misunderstand. I am not knocking D&D 3e. I own a copy of the Player's Handbook, and I am impressed with the advances made over previous incarnations of D&D. However, it is not earthshaking by any stretch of the imagination.

Let us take a look at the field of smaller publishers. Aha! Now we find truly new ideas. What about Story Engine, with its scene-based resolution? What about Little Fears, which is taking on serious questions of child abuse in a way so chilling, I doubt that even White Wolf would touch it? What about Hero Wars, with its radical Action Point mechanics? What about Multiverser? Sorcerer? Elfs? Puppetland? Any of Jared Sorenson's games? If I may be so bold, Alyria? All these games, in their own ways, are pushing the boundaries of roleplaying. D&D might be making money hand over fist, but it is bound to its formula. There is freedom on the fringes, freedom to create, freedom to innovate, freedom to push the envelope in ways that would seem bizarre to a marketing professional.

Now, if I had written this a couple of weeks ago, I would have ended here. My rant would have been finished and I would have exorcised my personal demons. However, it would be the wrong place to end. The picture is not complete.

Let me share an experience I had a couple of weeks ago. I was prepping for a convention appearance when an acquaintance came over. When I told him that I was going to be going to this convention, he asked if he could go. I did not really want to take him, because I was going on business, not for pleasure. His response was pivotal: "Well, I have a gaming company, too."

The moment was almost like being enlightened. In that flash, all the work that I have put into Dark Omen Games rose up before me. A summer vacation devoted to writing Junk. Editing sessions and a complete rewrite squeezed in on lunch breaks and between classes. Suffering through 14-hour days during layout (and I was not even the layout person). The frustration of finding out that we had screwed up the cover and that it would have to be done again. Waking up at 5:30 a.m. on Saturday mornings to drive to conventions. Feeling the sickened, nauseated feeling in the pit of my stomach when I thought about demoing Junk one more time. (If you do not know what I mean, then you have not truly had to demo a game.) Being polite to bluntly rude gamers who tear into your game without giving any respect to the time and effort that went into producing it. Seeing very little of my wife and less of my children. Late nights. Early mornings. Sweating blood into my games, my business.

So, what has my acquaintance done? Well, he helped someone else put together a game once. He is now working on the slowly forming second edition of that game which may never see the light of day and has dreams of putting together a game someday. That's it. He has demoed at a couple of cons, but as a fan, not a company representative.

I managed to bite back my first thought, which was this: "You have no clue what it means to have a gaming company. You just think that you are all big and bad because you helped work on a game once. You haven't had to bleed for your game." And it was in that Zen-like moment of clarity that I understood the "professionals".

Certainly there is a lot of innovation out here on the fringes. But, for every one person who is sweating it out in the trenches, desperately struggling to produce quality games, there are easily ten people who think that they can run some photocopies of their D&D house rules or their newest "kewl game from kewl d00dz" and be considered game publishers.

The "professionals" know better. They know that most of the game business has nothing to do with game design itself. Just drop Gareth-Michael Skarka or John Wick a line. Ask them how much time they spend on game design versus marketing. The answer may surprise you. That does not even take into account time spent on financial matters, writing, editing, doing layout, working with artists, or struggling to find a reliable printer. The "professionals" sweat blood into their games, every single one, and they find it offensive when some kid comes along with a cheap knock-off, doing no real work and yet claiming to be one of "them". It certainly was offensive to me. Without knowing it, my acquaintance was kicking dirt on the work and sacrifices that I have made.

So, I would like to round up this article with a word to two groups of people. First, to the industry professionals: play nice. In your heart of hearts, you know that the truly brilliant ideas come from the outsiders. You need us to continue the pattern of innovation. Please have some courtesy and do not be so quick to sling the label of "vanity press". You can learn a lot from us.

To the budding game designers: want to be one of the big boys? Fine. Then earn the right. I say this not as someone who has arrived but as someone who is still working on earning the right. Just tossing together a spiral-bound book at the local Kinko's does not cut it. If you have not sweat blood into your game, you just have not worked hard enough. I am going to be "elitist" here: not everyone can be a game designer. If you're not willing to pony up the effort to make it happen, then just don't do it. If you are not sure what needs to go into game design, just ask someone. You can learn a lot from the "professionals".

So, is Dark Omen Games a vanity press? I guess it depends who you ask. Am I following the normal path of growth in the industry, obeying every single one of the unwritten rules? Not really. Am I committed to putting out quality product that is both innovative and enjoyable? Certainly. So, is Dark Omen Games a vanity press?

In the end, that's for you to decide.