Episode 31.5: A Miscellany of Thoughts

As we get closer to deadline, these little episodes get shorter and shorter. I suspect that’s because as I make each decision, I have less to say. I also suspect that this last bit is the most boring part of game design. There isn’t a whole lot to talk about. I’m editing, editing, editing.

But there’s one aspect I can still bitch about, and that’s paying for the book. Let’s go there for a second.

I’ve got a final quote. It comes from a printer in Florida called Whitehall. It looks like this:

Quantity 2000 3000 4000 5000

TOTAL $6,590 $8,387 $10,192 $11,996

Jenny and I decided on three thousand books. Frankly, it’s all we can afford. That’s about $2.80 a book. Eric suggested one method of figuring how much to sell your book for by multiplying the “by book” cost by ten. In that case, I’d be selling Orkworld (300 pages, softbound, full color cover, fully illustrated, etc.) for $28.

So, I do some shopping. I take a look around the game store and I see 248 page hard bounds for $29.95. I see 200 page soft bounds for $24.95. I see 128 page softbound for $20.

I should be charging at least $30 for Orkworld.

I don’t think so. In fact, I think we’re gonna go a little less.

Twenty-five bucks.

Not $24.95. I don’t think anyone falls for that trick anymore.

Twenty-five bucks.

And so I call up Eric and tell him my cover price. I also tell him I want a special deal for buyers over at wizards-attic.com. I’ve got 8.5 x 11” color prints of the Orkworld cover. Four hundred of them. Signed by Thomas and me. Numbered. They got to the first four hundred people who order Orkworld through Eric.

So& once more for clarity.

The first 400 people to order Orkworld through wizards-attic.com (at 25 bucks a pop) get a special signed and numbered (by the author and artist) full-color 8 1/2” x 11” print of the cover. There will be 400 of these ever. Thomas and I will never do this again.

(At least, until Elfworld, but that’s for another time.)

All right, that’s taken care of. Let’s move on to other business.

* * *

You may have noticed a small press release over in the news section. The title reads, “THIRD EDITION FUMBLES” or something like that.

It’s not a joke.

John Kovalic (the Good John) and I plan to release WARHAMSTER 3RD EDITION. It will be previewed in the Gen-Con issue of DORK TOWER. It will be available in the winter. And it will use the patented d1000 Open Sore Game System. I can’t talk about it now. Too busy with orks. More talking after Gen-Con.

* * *

Finally, a thought on layout.

I talked with some friends of mine about the layout of Orkworld. They showed me a copy of 2nd Edition Paranoia. The exact phrase used was: “It has the most efficient layout ever.”

I took a look at it. It looked like 4th Edition Pendragon. Three columns. Nine point type. Ten point leading. Justified margins. At least Pendragon used a serif font.

Boring. Looked like a computer manual.

But there’s an attitude in the gaming industry that’s its absolutely imperative to make your layout efficient. Get as many words on the page as possible. Don’t give a rat butt cheek (not even the whole ass) about the way it looks, just make sure you get 1200 words per page, so you can make the book as cheap as possible.

Which begs a question: does word count equate quality?

No. Certainly not by itself. If an idiot wrote the longest book in the world, laid it out so it fit in only three hundred pages (three column, nine-point font, etc.), it’s still a book written by an idiot.

The fact of the matter is this: too many people in the game industry don’t know how to write. They use passive voice, speak in future tense, and have absolutely no idea how to organize their thoughts. The sad effect of all this is the gaming public has grown accustomed to it. In fact, they don’t even know the difference.

So many game books read like this:

For example: An ork who is attacking a troll who is sitting on a stone will get a +3 bonus because his spear is magical.

When, they could read like this:

For example: An ork attacks a troll sitting on a stone gets a +3 bonus because his spear is magical.

Passive bad. Active good. All those extra words slowing the reader down to a crawl. But more words are good! More words! More words!

Bullocks.

Game designers need to learn how to write. There’s a few out there, just not many.

(I’m speaking in generalities here, so before you go posting “I know what passive voice is and that makes John wrong!” go look up something called “anecdotal evidence.” And don’t forget: being the exception doesn’t make you the rule.)

And while we’re at it, for the love of Keethdowmga, will an editor – any editor – over at White Wolf speak to their writers about “indeed?” Go through any White Wolf book. Count the “indeeds”. You’ll find at least three on every page. Now, delete those “indeeds” and see if it changes the sentence at all.

Didn’t think so.

All right. Enough ranting. Let’s talk about something really important.

* * *

I read gaming books to get ideas. They’re supposed to compliment and inspire our imaginations, not serve as surrogate creativity engines. For instance, I was reading Hero Wars this weekend and came across the Lunar Empire. There was one sentence that caught me off guard (I can’t find it right now, so I have to paraphrase): “They worship different aspects of the Moon Goddess.”

Different aspects of the Moon Goddess. She’s a different goddess depending on the phase of the moon. That was very cool. Something I’d come across before, forgotten, and found again while exploring the world of The Great and Mighty Stafford. It got me thinking about the human empire in Orkworld: The Solarians. Worshiping the Sun dudes.

Think& think& think&

What if the Solarians used to be moon worshipers? In other words, what if they were a Lunar Empire? I wanted to emulate Romans, so I started thinking about the pantheon and how the Romans assimilated gods from other pantheons and made them fit their own.

The Moon: Empathy, Intuition, Deep Water.

The Sun: Reason, Knowledge, Reflects off the Surface.

Their religion used to be lunar, but was usurped by the Solar Gods. It’s all a big rivalry. So, you have a god (lunar and solar) for each virtue, making their pantheon look something like this:

SOLAR VIRTUE LUNAR

Amour LOVE Lust

Reason KNOWLEDGE Intuition

Strategy WAR Bloodlust

The humans recognize that you must have (passive voice: “have to have”) balance between the two – devotion to both sides of the coin. If you don’t, the blue lightning bolt whacks you.

An entire culture based on balancing Sun and Moon and the blessings they bring. Very Greek. I like it a lot.

Problem is, I don’t have the time to incorporate it into the book. If I add the text, I have to change the layout. If I change the layout, I change the entire book. Start pretty much from scratch. That puts me behind schedule. That means the book doesn’t come out for Gen-Con. That means I break my promise to Eric, distributors, storeowners and my readers.

A very cool idea that doesn’t get to go into the book because I thought of it a week too late.

Ever wonder why game designers give you the super cool rules in supplements?

Now you know.

* * *

All right. I’ve gone from cost of the book to Warhamsters to boring layout to why cool rules always come a month after the book’s gone to press. Lots of ground. Hope you enjoyed the trip.

I may be back next week. I may be in San Francisco on a top secret mission for the MI-6. We’ll see.

Take care, vote on the Origins Ballot and I’ll see you all in seven.