Part 2: The Plot Thickens

Or, How I learned I was on the Right Track

"Okay, lemme get this straight… The players play Jesus? Jesus Christ?"

"Yeah. Well, Prodigal Children, one step removed from God, yeah."

"Or they can be Antichrists?"

"Yeah. That’s also a possibility."

"You can PLAY the ANTICHRIST?"

"One of ‘em."

I was staring out over a ragtag collection of artists and writers culled from everywhere from the ghetto up near Newark to the six-figure real-estate of Basking Ridge. These people, my friends and game group – and, in my opinion, the best New Jersey had to offer, minus Kevin Smith and the Sopranos-, had just learned a few minutes before that our regularly scheduled mayhem would not be seen tonight, as they had all just become the bulk of the recently-formed Synister Creative Systems. We weren’t gonna just play games anymore, we were gonna make ‘em. I was talking to Eddie Funn, an artist friend I had known since I ran a betting ring on the Street Fighter game at the Blimpies’ Sub Shop across from my high school- which was, incidentally, how we met.

"Sounds… a little… I dunno…"

"Nobody’s gonna mistake your big black ass for Jesus, ya Kunta Kinte’ lookin’…"

"Shut up, you potato-eatin’ highlander wannabe."

"Highlanders are Scottish, Eddie. I’m Irish." Sneered Pete Johnson, another artist from the area. He turned to me. "So what are we supposed to draw, here?"

I stretched.

"You’re missing the point. Eddie’s black ass very well could be Jesus. And Jesus could be a mick like you, or Puerto Rican Like Andre or Sonny, or… "

"Bariquas!!" Chanted Sonny and Andre in unison.

"Guys, what did I say? No Puerto Rican Pride chants at my games anymore- they mess up my train of thought."

"But you said tonight wasn’t a game night. This is our first meeting. Besides, he was obviously Puerto Rican- his name was Jesus, right ?" Smirked Andre Nezario as he exchanged a high-five with Sonny Alvarez.

"Black modern-day Jesus, huh? We should get in touch with the Wu-Tang Clan- they’d be all over that." My brother, Josh, looked up from his laptop and adjusted his glasses. He then grinned and pointed at his Wu-Tang shirt.

"Wu-Wear! I love it."

"Black Jesus, gay Jesus, left-handed Eskimo lesbian Jesus. But It’s not all good guys. Nazi Jesus, Mayor Guiliani Jesus, child molesting Jesus… "

"Sounds like you just rattled off the new GI Joe Blasphemy Force toy line."

"The point is that God- well- both Gods just came to earth and started droppin’ babies left and right. These children are the modern-day Messiahs and Antichrists, realized at the Millennium. "

"So God just slums it here to bang any chick that’ll spread for him? Phat. I like it. " Smiled Sonny.

"Of course they’ll spread for him- he’s God! God’s a pimp." Josh added.

"Actually, God’s an IT… It’s been both mother or father to these children."

Eddie looked up, clearly disturbed.

"So, like David Koresh really was a Messiah?"

"Yeah. So was Jim Jones. Maybe not successful ones, but…"

"Um, are alla’yall crazy ?David Koresh…he…he had sex with little kids, man!"

"But that’s the point of the whole thing. You don’t have to be a good individual to have spiritual power. "Who will you save ?", remember?"

"But why would God give a guy like David Koresh power?"

"Same reason it gave Hitler power. Or Stalin. Or Rudy Guiliani." Josh said as he typed. "I think I see where Sean’s getting at with this. Just because you’re the Son of God doesn’t mean you HAVE to be a good person. You still have free will."

"Yeah, you can make women spread for you." Said Pete. "I wish I was the Son of God."

"White people." Eddie thought for a minute. "But why wouldn’t God just make them do good anyway? He’s God, after all."

"I don’t remember seeing any rules saying God has to be a good guy. Besides, man, it’s all about free will." Andre added.

"So if you have this power you can chose to use it for whatever. You can prove you are the son or daughter of God, you know people will worship you. You decide how to use it. So why would you use it to have sex with kids?"

"Because you’re a slimy scumbag pedophile…Or rather, your character is. No one says you have to play the bad guy, but you have the choice. God gives you the choice. Makes it worth something." Said Andre.

"God…" Josh thought a minute. "God is a mother f*cker." I smiled. "I like that better than "Who will you save." We should use that as a catch phrase. Messiah: God is a Motherf*cker."

"If it’s about everyone leaving Earth with these psychotic Messiahs, how about "The Final Exodus?" Asked Eddie.

"No, I hate names like that." I mumbled. "And not all the Messiahs or Antichrists are psychotic. Just some. Like people. Not everybody is a saint. Not everybody kidnaps kids and films them having sex with animals, either."

"Dude, sick! What the hell is wrong with you?" Pete threw part of a sandwich at me.

"Just trying to make a point." I said, picking lettuce out of my hair. "This stuff happens and people don’t deal with it. They hide from things like this. You see it on a movie screen or in a book, it’s just more media. It’s not real. Not like a role playing game. In an RPG you’re THERE, you make the decisions, you’re responsible. That’s why so many people love ‘em, and that’s why so many more people are scared to death of ‘em. The whole God and religion thing is just dressing for those decisions. That’s what I wanna make people confront- that’s the idea here."

"And what makes you think you can do that ?"

"Well, look at you chumps. I just got a major moral and theological discussion out of a bunch of homeboys from North Jersey."

The room fell silent and they looked at each other for a long time.

Then they kicked my ass.

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Sean Jaffe is the designer of The Last Exodus.