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The Vizier

By D.J. Babb
October 28, 2000 · 3 minute read

"So it's a robot from the 16th century playing Risk. Big deal."

"First it's a clockwork automaton and not a robot, second the automaton doesn't play anything, and third that isn't a game. But it was made in 1587, and its parts are wearing down."

"Have the boys in R&D disassemble it, and we'll make replacements. It's not like we can't factory stamp gears until-"

"If we stop the motions we break it, forever. Each move it makes is based on the last move, and each of those moves is based on the previous. And so on, back to the year 1587."

"So."

"So, the moves it makes across that global map indicate political and economic trends."

"So it works like a CNN anchorperson."

"Well... yeah, but-"

"'But it's a masterpiece of art and human innovation,' right? 'Used by the heads of Europe to keep informed of what their neighbors and colonies were up to while they waited for the boats and carrier pigeons to bring back concrete information.' Isn't that what you were going to say?"

"Yeah, but-"

"But nothing. It's obsolete now, and in a few more weeks it'll be completely useless."

"Look! It's more complex than that. The automaton may be a primitive expert system of sorts. A limited artificial intelligence if you will.

When it and the board were assembled, the pieces were placed using calculations I can't begin to understand. It performs these calculations with its clockwork brain, and then moves accordingly."

"Did I, or did I not, just say this is obsolete and soon to be useless."

"Wait, just wait, damn it. Over the years, those who owned it were able to keep informed of what was going on in the world. But things didn't add up after a while. See, the moves it makes were based off of these calculations. But it could compute these calculations all day and all night, keeping up with changes and permutations, going through its constantly changing formulae. So, eventually it not only manages to keep up, but it manages to pass what's going on in the world. The automaton started giving what seemed to be erroneous information. Only it wasn't, it was-"

"Predicting the future?"

"Bingo! So, the smart owners figure this out real quick. It's never very far into the future, but every year the automaton moves a little farther, and starts changing the pieces. As European civilization expands new pieces for the Americas, and Africa, and Australia are added while the existing pieces are thrown from the board onto the floor. The same thing happens in Asia and Australia. New pieces are placed, old ones removed."

"Are you saying the robot... the automaton foresaw the American Revolution for instance?"

"Not as such. We believe King George the third had access to it during the American Revolution and misinterpreted the expansion of the US as his victory and the expansion of the English colony across the continent."

"But if we can't properly interpret the thing's predictions, what good is it?"

"We can infer. We can hypothesize. We can prepare for the worst. The data we've uncovered suggests that the automaton reveals large changes to a nation, and to its economy. The fall of the USSR was predicted due to social changes, and the economic stagnation was predicted due to a lack of any major economic change. Each nation has two pieces. Replace one, and it's a depression in the country. Replace another, and it's a political revolution. Replace both, and it's a new nation."

"How far do you believe the automaton to be predicting?"

"My team estimates, based on gaining roughly three days per year, that it is seeing roughly three years and four months into the future."

"What is it doing?"

"It's taking every piece, from every nation, and throwing them off the board."

Recovered from the Gaming Outpost database backup. Original wording is preserved; damaged punctuation and presentation markup have been repaired. Historical links without a local match point to the Internet Archive.

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