For several reasons, this "spell" will take several posts to hash out, not least of which is my unwillingness to write the whole thing down at one time. I've made this thread so we can hash it out in peace without unduly cluttering or bumping my own game thread, and also as a potential home for other complex rituals I may cook up in the future.
This ritual is concerned with the creation of a Discordian holy-symbol, something that will proclaim the power of Eris to any and all who see it - or else just confuse them, which amounts to the same thing. As near as I can tell, no one has ever done this before. There are plenty of symbols and signs associated with the Faith, of course, but no one as taken to blessing one of them and wearing it around his neck. Since I'm breaking new ground - and because V-me has very little else that's interesting to do with his time - the whole thing is going to be as long, as involved, and as complicated as he can make it. It will be absolutely riddled with symbolism and bogus numerology.
Riddled, I say.
In any case, the core of the finished symbol will be five wingnuts, which will undergo various transmutations and so forth over the course of the ritual; by the end, each wingnut will supposedly contain the summoned essence of one of the five elements (Sweet, Boom, Pungent, Prickle, and Orange). The whole thing will take twenty-three days and will happen in five phases. Twenty-three is a number of power (2+3=5), and the five phases mirror the five seasons of the Discordian year (Chaos, Discord, Confusion, Bureaucracy and Aftermath). The first day of the ritual must be a Setting Orange (the fifth day of the five-day Discordian week), so that each subsequent day falls on the most auspicious day of the week for its particular piece of the performance.
The phases follow:
1) Declaration of Intent. One day. The Pope declares his intention before Eris of creating a tangible symbol of Confusion in general and Eris in particular. Activities include personal purification, disambiguation of the Pope from a cabbage or something, ranting, getting Eris's attention in the first place, and preparations for later rituals.
2) Invocation of the Elements. Five days (one per wingnut). The Pope imbues each wingnut in turn with the essence of a different element, giving each the life, vitality, and individual identity necessary for the later steps. Activities include personal purification, preparation of the ritual space, calling upon the elements, transmutation of the wingnut(s), and sequestering each finished wingnut in a special container (in which it will remain, in meditation, for one week).
3) Emergence, Introductions and Attuning. Five days. As the wingnuts complete their five-day periods of meditation (staggered, of course, one wingnut per day), the Pope introduces them each to himself and to each other, taking time to get to know them and for everyone to become comfortable with everyone else. Activities include naming each wingnut, group games, social mealtimes, one-on-one interaction with each wingnut, and bedtime stories.
4) Binding and Formal Affirmations. Eleven days (one day ritual, ten days affirmation). The Pope performs a ritual of unification, binding the five wingnuts together and formalizing their connection to himself. He then makes this Official by filling out and filing an ever-escalating series of forms. Activities include complex transmutations, convoluted symbolic reasoning, tedious hand-copying, repetitive compulsory song, and overuse of paper clips.
5) Dissolution and Emancipation, or, "Screw You Guys." One day. The Pope gets thoroughly sick of forms, the wingnuts, and unity in general. He breaks apart the wingnuts' bindings, discards said wingnuts, and seeks wisdom in solitude. The Holy Symbol is completed when he returns to the wingnuts and once again collects them - this time without all that silly business about eternal, inseparable bonds. Activities include mistreatment of official forms, breaking things, sulking, eating hot dog buns, and awkwardly making up.
That's the overview. I think I'll hit each section in detail in separate posts. In terms of mechanics, I'm interested in defining this thing's time factor. I haven't gone through and made an account of how long I spend each day on actual ritual, but I imagine it will average somewhere between one and three hours per day (23 to 69 hours total). As a player, I'm hoping I get full credit for the twenty-three days, but as a referee, I'm hoping to get some insight into adjudicating this kind of situation.
All right, I will give you some insight up front, focusing on time factor.
Part of the point of time factor is that it limits what else you can do; that means it is also limited by what else you are doing. I would certainly credit sits and stares at pieces in contemplative meditation for six hours as time spent in ritual; I would not credit goes to work and makes food for restaurant patrons while occasionally wondering what his wingnuts are doing right now.
I usually penalize for "interrupted ritual"--something Graeme uses to great effect in his potion-like spells, as the -10 standard penalty for the interruption is more than offset by the time invested before it to get the delivery in seconds of a very potent spell effect. On the other hand, your situation is distinct here. You cannot pack everything into one day, and if something were to happen that would prevent you from accomplishing one piece of the ritual on the required day, the entire casting would be lost. This is not so great a limitation as it might be, because nowhere in the ritual does it say that you must perform the next piece "at noon" or "after sunrise" or "before sunset", so in theory you have twenty-four hours in which to accomplish each task (although I should ask you to specify for me when Discordian days begin and end--after all, Jewish days begin and end at sunset, but American Calendar days begin and end at midnight, and my own personal concept of the day is that it ends when I go to bed and begins when I awaken, and the time during which I am asleep is the space between the days, not part of any day in particular (which to me sounds very Discordian, really)). Thus since this is a limitation, it should give you a bonus--not that you get credit for all the downtime, but that you get credit for the fact that you must perform pieces of the ritual within a prescribed temporal framework over which you have little leeway. (Yes, you designed the framework, but having designed it you are locked into it.) As far as I recall, no one has ever designed that particular limitation into a ritual, so I will have to assess its value as against the benefit of interrupted ritual.
Also, that it must begin on a specific day of the (five day) week is another limitation for which some bonus should be given. My inclination is +10 for that, +20 for the framework, but -20 for the multiple interruptions (Graeme has a single interruption for -10; your multiple interruptions permit you to rest several times during the extended casting, and so you do not face the potential for fatigue which would otherwise occur in a ritual ranging between one and three days).
That puts you up twenty at this point, just for time framework.
I know you're going to address the details individually, which is good thinking since I was going to ask how long each of these steps would take and you included that. We have previously discussed various materials of which wingnuts might be made, so that leads me to ask whether these will all be the same, all different, and whether the materials themselves are mandated (that is, there is a difference between a spell that requires five wingnuts which can be satisfied by any combination of wingnuts of any materials and one that requires those to be one steel, one brass, one aluminum, one plastic, and one lead).
--M. J. Young
If I had my druthers, the spell would require that one wingnut be made of hard candy, one of gold (an element I'm told is only born in the hearts of supernovas), one of pine wood, one of sharpened steel, and one of amber. Unfortunately, I don't think that's a practical requirement, so I'll design the ritual to be effective with any five wingnuts of roughly similar size, no matter their material. I'll be using the galvanized steel wingnuts I purchased in Columbus. (If I used the local ones, I wouldn't get the benefit of the scriff sense until I versed out again).
I'm missing an additive somewhere; it looks to me like the framework bonus and the interruption penalty cancel out, leaving me up ten from the Setting Orange requirement.
As far as I'm concerned, the Discordian date is the day I put second at the top of my journal entries; according to that calender, the day I entered the 'verse is the first day of the first year. Trying to track time by a local calender is silly, and the calender on my computer is only useful as a relative measure, like a watch set to the wrong time that still runs smoothly. I intend to begin on the 50th of Chaos (a holy-day, by the way, Chaoflux), which is July 27th local time, and to finish on the 72nd of Chaos, which is August 18th local.
It is not required that the ritual begin on a holy day. There are only two or three that fall on Setting Orange, and they're all in the first season. I just thought I'd do it since I have the opportunity.
My personal concept of the day has changed over time; while I was in college, new days began at 4 AM, because if I was still awake by that time I couldn't go to sleep without sleeping through my alarm and my morning classes. However, in my journal the new days begin at midnight, and since I'm using my journal-dates to time the ritual, that's the standard I'll use within the ritual as well. (The Discordian calender is designed for easy conversion to and from American dates, so this makes sense.)
I suspect that I'll be taking some time off of work during phase three and taking a break from my practice regimen in phase two, but that's a matter for the game thread, I think.
Next up: Phase One, in detail.
One requested clarification: I believe that the clock on your computer does not match the clock downtown, so I should ask which defines the change of day, and how far different the two are. After all, if the calendar on the computer changes at midnight on the computer, that's not the same thing.
Thanks.
--M. J. Young
The clock downtown is one hour behind the clock on my computer. When I versed into the local world, the old day (1/11/A) ended and the new day (1/12/A) began, with the calender's time of day synchronizing with the local time of day at that point. (I lost nine hours in the process; some future verse-outs will result in extended days rather than shortened ones, so I don't plan to ever be as much as 24 hours ahead or behind.) Thus, when my computer clock says 1:00 AM, it is midnight, and a new day begins for the purposes of the ritual.
Additional requirement: ritual activities need to begin no earlier than dawn and no later than sunset. Continuing into the night is fine, but it needs to be daylight when I start. It just doesn't feel right otherwise.
_____
Declaration of Intent
Corresponds with the Season of Chaos. Begins and ends on Day 1 of the ritual, a Setting Orange. Total time in ritual: 0 hours 40 minutes.
The ritual begins when the Pope addresses his companion, saying, "Iggy [or whoever], you're my friend and you'll be the first to know - I'm going to make a prayer to Eris. If you need me, I'll be in the bath."
The Pope must then partially fill a tub with hot water. He then opens a bottle of bubble-bath, saying,
"Water purifies the body; Bubble-Bath purifies the soul,"
and so saying, he pours in a liberal dose of bubble-bath. Having done so, he finishes filling the tub (thus agitating the water and activating the bubble-bath), using some hot water and some cold to adjust to the proper temperature. He then divests himself of his garments and enters the bath.
When his body is clean and his soul pure (this takes roughly half an hour), he emerges. Immediately he proclaims,
"Here I stand, naked in the eyes of Eris and anyone else who may be peeking. Let it be known that I am myself, a human being, and not a cabbage or something in disguise." He lifts a cabbage in one hand, saying, "I have here a cabbage for comparison." He then destroys and discards the cabbage, muttering something about spies.
The Pope ties a towel about his waist and leaves the place of the bath, going to the place where his materials for future rituals have been gathered. Here he dons a mitre and a necklace of five wingnuts. He then turns to address his audience (real or imaginary).
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, city-folk, and Huns; I suppose you're all wondering why I've called you here today wearing only a towel and a funny hat. I am Pope William T Wodium, Lord of Odium, Poo-Bah of Podium, Prince of Rhodium, Sultan of Sodium, and the Eldest of that Name; Editor-in-Chief of Discombobulated Phrases; Grand Calif of California (until that deceased personage sees fit to reclaim his title); Episkipos of the Furst Church of Ripley the Cat; and Keeper of the Secret of St. Tibbs' Day," [or whoever]. "I have purified myself in bubble-bath, and I stand here, before you and before Eris ('cause I certainly wouldn't want to stand after Her, She's a tough act to follow), my hair still dripping with purity, to issue a proclamation – "
here the Pope snatches up a pad of paper and begins frantically scribbling with his crayons –
" – a declaration – a declamation – a defamation - "
here he finishes his illustration –
" – a Papal Bull,"
so saying, he turns to the paper to face the audience (real or imaginary), displaying a full-color Holy Chao, with bull's horns added and a mitre on top,
"if you will. And trust me, you will." He sets aside the Papal Bull. "Or even if you won't, I'll do it anyway, because I've decided – and His Bovine Holiness agrees with me – I've decided that I will craft a Symbol. I will make it out of wingnuts, so it will be a Holey symbol (see the holes?). By the time I'm through, it will represent Eris and Her glorious confusion to all who look at it (because they'll either Get It, which is the point of any symbol, or they Won't, and it'll confuse them – which is the point of this Symbol), so it will be a Holy Symbol. I hope to keep Batman and Robin out of it entirely. Laugh all you like, but believe me and believe Bull – or, fellow followers of Ripley, simply Believe It Or Not. For it is with these wingnuts I will craft the symbol, in this bowl that I will transmute them, on that stove I'll perform my alchemy, with these tools I'll confirm the deed, and it is with this voice I will call on Eris and her only son, Emperor Joshua Norton I, to bless the Holey Hell out of every ever-loving piece of my finished work.
"I guess that would make it a Wholly Holy Holey Symbol. Is there a black-cowled crime-fighter in the house?"
The Pope takes a bow, and thus ends this portion of the ritual.
_____
Following this, the Pope undertakes a number of preparations for subsequent portions of the ritual – inscribing the Hodge-Podge Transformer into the base of the mixing bowl, for instance – but I'm not sure whether this is time-in-ritual or just a convenient time in which to modify materials such that they meet more stringent requirements for later steps.
Time:
Purification – 35 min
Bath to Bow – perhaps 5 min?
Subsequent prep – 0 min to 15 min
Components:
Companion (must be living, cannot be mindless, sentience optional)
Body-sized watertight container
Hot, clean water
Bubble-bath (one dose)*
Cabbage (1)*
Towel
Mitre [mine will be made of duct tape and old newspaper]
Five wingnut necklace
One sheet paper* (with something hand-held to bear down on [like more paper])
Crayons (five colors)
Five loose wingnuts
Mixing bowl
Stove/fireplace/heating apparatus
Chalks (five colors)
Pen (blue or black ink)
Inkpad (the kind for rubber stamps or fingerprinting)
*Asterisks indicate consumed components
"With these tools" indicates the crayons, chalks, pen, and inkpad, which is why the latter three are on the list. I'm not tracking vocal or somatic components because I expect to get every bonus in the book by the end of this (with the possible exception of the +1 to +5 for fatigue). In future steps, re-used non-consumable material components will be listed in italics, sorted to the beginning or end of the list.
If he botches, you need to have him accidentally summon Batman.
Eric
I'm wondering how you destroy a cabbage, but I don't suppose it matters.
I'm not sure whether this is time-in-ritual or just a convenient time in which to modify materials such that they meet more stringent requirements for later steps.That depends on whether the preparation process is part of the ritual or whether the requirement is for the finished product.
For the mixing bowl example, do you need a bowl with the transformer transcribed on the bottom, or do you need a bowl in which you will be able to transcribe the transformer? Assuming the bowl survives undamaged, could you use this same bowl the next time you performed this spell, or would you have to get another one and do the job again?
If you need to do the transcription, then the value of the object decreases (because it's just a bowl) but you are credited for the time; if you just need the bowl with the transcription, the value goes up (because this is a particular kind of bowl) but you don't get the time bonus.
I'm guessing you want values, so here are some values:
- Companion (must be living, cannot be mindless, sentience optional) +5
Body-sized watertight container +1
Hot, clean water +2
Bubble-bath (one dose)* +2
Cabbage (1)* +3 (assuming lettuce is not an acceptable substitute)
Towel +2
Mitre [mine will be made of duct tape and old newspaper] +1 (it appears that you can make it out of anything)
Five wingnut necklace +3
One sheet paper* (with something hand-held to bear down on [like more paper]) +2
Crayons (five colors) +2 each, but you must use all five
Five loose wingnuts +2 each
Mixing bowl +1
Stove/fireplace/heating apparatus +1
Chalks (five colors) +2, but they must be different colors and you must use all five
Pen (blue or black ink) +2
Inkpad (the kind for rubber stamps or fingerprinting) +2
I give +2 for most relatively common manufactured or artificial items, but once they have been combined they are no longer credited individually.
--M. J. Young
I think ripping it up by hand should be sufficient for cabbage destruction. And yes, it must be a cabbage. Lettuce simply isn't sinister enough.
At this point in the ritual, it only matters that the mixing bowl is the same one that I'll use later; however, later it will need to be a mixing bowl with the Hodge-Podge Transformer in the bottom. The transcription of the Transformer is not part of the ritual. (I'm going with the "convenient time" option, making the total time factor contribution for Phase One forty minutes.)
I will use all five crayons in the illustration of the Papal Bull. I will not use all five chalks separately in Phase 1 (at this point I'm just gesturing at them), but I will use all five in Phase 3 when we play Discordian hopscotch.
Yes, the mitre can be made from anything. Newspaper and duct tape have style, though.
If we double the values for the cabbage and the bubble bath, that comes to +62 so far for materials. I suspect that the sit-mod for the finished ritual will be well beyond what I need, but there's nothing for it now but to carry on. V-me's not doing it for the numbers anyhow.
I think I'll write up 4(b) next.
Edited for Disclaimer: I'm not expecting that this whole series of posts be addressed in a single evening; I'm aware your time is valuable. Besides, part of the reason I'm posting components now and ritual later is to allow for some division of our labor, with some play occurring while I'm writing the last bits of the ritual. /end edit
I just did a little math, and it looks like if the following components are worth even one point each, this ritual is already a no-fail proposition. That's fine.
This post is just Components for Phase II: Invocation of the Elements. I'm thinking I'll throw up the components for each phase first, then follow up with the ritual; that way we can run the component scavenger hunt in my game thread at the same time that we're finalizing things here, I can adjust the ritual for missing components as we go, and generally we save time.
Incidentally, if the success roll for creating a holy symbol or focus is above fifty or above eighty, is the resulting item any more effective? I shouldn't think so - plus ten is plus ten - but it leaves me wondering what relative success measures in this case.
Here's the component list for Phase Two, then, with the previously-scored components from Phase One segregated into their own italicized ghetto:
Repeat Components (previously valued and catalogued):
Bath-sized container
Hot, clean water
Towel
Mitre [mine will be made of duct tape and old newspaper]
Five wingnut necklace
Crayons (five colors)
Five loose wingnuts
Stove/fireplace/heating apparatus
Crayons (five colors)
New Components:
More paper (~ 25 sheets)
More bubblebath (five doses)*
Mixing bowl with inscription of Hodge-Podge Transformer
Twenty-three additional wingnuts (single component)
Sugar bowl
Large matchbox
Empty Play-Doh container (not orange!)
Toothpick box
Orange peel (complete)
Sugar
Flammable/explosive powder
Garlic powder
Splinters
Tang (just the powder)
Chocolate
Matches
Horseradish
Velcro
Play-Doh (orange)
Homemade lemonade (lemons, sugar, water, maybe ice - time spent making not counted toward ritual time)
Sports energy drink/flammable drink
Cranberry juice (unsweetened)
Seltzer
Orange Juice
Duct tape
Bongos (makeshift is fine, but must be playable)
String
Print copy of The Apocrypha Discordia, De Second Edition
Phase III's components:
Repeat Components:
Five loose wingnuts (the same five)
Sugar bowl
Large matchbox
Empty Play-Doh container (not orange!)
Toothpick box
Orange peel (complete)
Print copy of The Apocrypha Discordia, De Second Edition
Sidewalk chalk (five colors)
New Components:
Five board games with men potentially interchangeable with wingnuts (makeshift theoretically okay)
Twenty hot dogs
Twenty hot dog buns
Five condiments [I shall use sweet pickle relish, cole slaw, ketchup, mustard, and diced onions]
Phase Four has one day that's a lot like Phase Two and ten days that are more like Phase III, so I'm splitting the component lists into IVa and IVb. This post is just the first day.
Phase IVa
Repeat Components:
Sugar
Flammable/explosive powder
Garlic powder
Splinters
Tang (just the powder)
Chocolate
Matches
Horseradish
Velcro
Play-Doh (orange)
Homemade lemonade (lemons, sugar, water, maybe ice - time spent making not counted toward ritual time)
Sports energy drink/flammable drink
Cranberry juice (unsweetened)
Seltzer
Orange Juice
Bath-sized container
More hot, clean water
More bubble-bath (one dose)*
Another cabbage (1)*
Mitre [mine will be made of duct tape and old newspaper]
Five wingnut necklace
Five loose wingnuts (the same five as always)
String
Duct tape
Print copy of The Apocrypha Discordia, De Second Edition
New Components:
An accurate and detailed sketch by a Genuine and Authorized Pope of an actual cabbage, which must have been subsequently destroyed; at least five minutes should have been spent on the sketch to ensure adequate detail (time does NOT count as time in ritual)
Four more such sketches of the same cabbage from different angles. It is permissible to wait until all five sketches are complete before destroying the cabbage. Medium: ink pen and paper.
Written copies (5) of the entire verbal component, signed and nose-printed by a Genuine and Authorized Pope (hail Eris); must include Section and Sub-section Headings
More bubble-bath (one dose)*
Another cabbage (1)* [not the sketched cabbage, a different one]
Phase IVb is a more like a scavenger hunt than a magic spell; several of the "components" are in fact locations or fixtures. Here's the list:
Repeat Components
Five "transmuted" wingnuts on string necklace (from IVa)
Pen (blue or black ink)
Inkpad (the kind for rubber stamps or fingerprinting)
Duct tape
New Components
More paper (at least 55 sheets)
Paper clips (55 + 45 + 36 + 28 + 21 + 15 +10 + 6 + 3 + 1 = 220 paper clips, minimum)
One "file 13" – trash can or equivalent
Nine uninflated balloons
Helium for nine balloons
Working freezer OR other location guaranteed to stay sub-0 (C) for ten days
Toilet that flushes
Tree (minimum one)
Bus (at least one)
Mailbox
Two shoes, one right, one left; must fit
A window that opens (or is always open)
Phase V is pretty light on materials. We're in the dénouement, the last act, the epilogue. This post, though, is just the components:
Repeat Components
Five "transmuted" wingnuts on string necklace (from IVb)
Pen (blue or black ink)
Inkpad (the kind for rubber stamps or fingerprinting)
More paper (at least eleven sheets)
More paper clips (at least 66)
New Components
More Hot Dog Buns - exactly twenty-three, five of which are consumed (if there are 24, e.g. due to packaging, one is thrown away)
_
And th-th-th-that's all, folks! Rituals coming when I get 'round to 'em. Next step, compiling a shopping list for ye olde game threade . . .
2) Invocation of the Elements
Corresponds with the Season of Discord. Begins on Day 2 of the ritual, a Sweetmorn, and ends on Day 7, a Setting Orange. Total time in ritual: 5 hours 0 minutes.
Ritual in this section repeats a basic unit five times over five days, with variation from one day to the next based on the element associated with that day of the week. This description presents the basic daily template first and follows with specifics of particular days.
The caster begins with purification, as outlined for phase I:
The Pope must partially fill a tub with hot water. He then opens a bottle of bubble-bath, saying,
"Water purifies the body; Bubble-Bath purifies the soul,"
and so saying, he pours in a liberal dose of bubble-bath. Having done so, he finishes filling the tub (thus agitating the water and activating the bubble-bath), using some hot water and some cold to adjust to the proper temperature. He then divests himself of his garments and enters the bath.
When his body is clean and his soul pure (this takes roughly half an hour), he emerges.
No cabbage is necessary at this stage. Next, the Pope creates a sacred space by use of crayons and paper. Five sheets of paper are prepared with various drawings, inscriptions, and sigils appropriate to the element of the day; he uses five colors of crayon (either one color per sheet or all five on every sheet). Time and care are taken on this step: at least half an hour should be expended in this way. As he works, he should consume the Liquid Essence of the day.
The completed sigil sheets are arranged on the floor in a pentagon of about 5 feet on each side, like place mats at an Illuminati dinner party. Twenty-three wignuts are arranged in a rough icositrigon around the mats, further defining the sacred space. The Pope sits in a gap between two sigil sheets; the other four gaps are taken by the Powdered Essence, Liquid Essence, Chunky Essence, and the Meditative Receptacle. The center of the figure is occupied by the mixing bowl bearing the inscription of the Hodge-Podge Transformer.
The bongos and Apocrypha Discordia should be handy, but should be kept outside the pentagon.
The invocation proceeds thusly:
1) Opened with some bongo action and some impressive-sounding ad-libbed speech laying out the purpose and intention of the ritual to come (possibly referencing the Apocrypha if the Pope gets stuck)
2) A little more solemn bongo action.
3) A bit of ad-libbed chanting; the Pope tosses some [Powdered Essence] into the bowl and invokes the Element, with some ad-libbed carrying-on about the properties of the [P. Essence] and perhaps drawing attention to some of the illustrations on the mats.
4) More bongos; the Pope reads out an irrelevant portion of the Apocrypha.
5) The Pope drinks a little of the Liquid Essence and makes a pronouncement about its quality.
6) Liquid Essence is added to the bowl, and the Pope ad-libs another invocation of the Element in the name of the liquid and its affinity with said Element.
7) Time for a song! The Pope sings something vaguely Discordian.
8) More bongos. Reclaim that solemn feel.
9) The Pope reads from the Apocrypha and tells a personal anecdote relating to both the passage and the Element.
10) He invokes the element in the name of the Chunky Essence and relevant properties thereof, beating the bongos all the while with bits of Chunky Essence clutched in his fists;
11) A bit of fevered chanting in several foreign languages (incongruence is encouraged, e.g., "Ewidge Blumenkraft - Fliegende Kinderscheisse - no hay ningunos gatos en mis zapatos: Bonjour!") and the Pope dramatically tosses the Chunky Essence into the bowl.
12) Five consecutive moments of silence.
Each day includes a process by which the element is fused to a particular wingnut, with at least one material out of the Hodge-Podge mixing bowl affixed to that wingnut more-or-less permanently as a sort of marker. The ritual for this aspect differs by the particular element.
- For Sweet, following step (12), the entire contents of the bowl are moved to another container and slowly melted over heat. The wingnut is dipped into the melted mixture by its string, placed on wax paper, and allowed to cool.
- For Boom, a small portion of the bowl's contents are separated out and set ablaze. The ashes are mixed with a small amount of glue and smeared onto the wingnut.
- For Pungent, the wingnut is smeared with rubber cement and simply lowered into the bowl's contents. Something's bound to stick.
- For Prickle, tiny strips of duct tape are applied to the wings of the wingnut such that the sticky sides face out. To one wing, the Pope sticks whatever prickly bits out of the bowl he can get to stick; to the other, he sticks a bit of cloth or a fragment of cotton ball, and burrs from the bowl are affixed to the fibers.
- For Orange, the wingnut is thinly coated in Play-Doh from the mixing bowl and is subsequently baked.
Once the wingnut is marked, it is placed into its previously-prepared receptacle and allowed to meditate for five days (concurrent with subsequent ritual activity). The following serve as the receptacles (appropriately decorated and lined with crayoned paper similar to that used for the place-mats):
Sugarbowl (Sweet)
Matchbox ,large (Boom)
Onion, cored (Pungent) [add to materials list for Part II]
Toothpick box (Prickle)
Playdoh canister, orange (Orange)
__
Steps 1-12 refer to Essences appropriate to the element of the day. Here is the key:
Essence Key
Element: Powdered/Liquid/Chunky
Sweet: Sugar / Lemonade / Chocolate
Boom: Explosive powder / Sports drink or whiskey / Matches
Pungent: Garlic powder / Straight cranberry juice / Horseradish
Prickle: Splinters / Seltzer / Burrs
Orange: Orange drink powder / Orange juice / Orange Play-Doh
NOTE: (2), above, should read " . . . and ends on Day 6, a Setting Orange", not Day 7. One plus five is actually six, you see.
3) Emergence, Introductions and Attuning
Corresponds with the Season of Confusion. Begins on Day 7 of the ritual, a Sweetmorn, and ends on Day 11, a Setting Orange. Total time in ritual: 10 hours 0 minutes.
Ritual in this section repeats a basic unit five times over five days, with variation from one day to the next based on the number of wingnuts which have so far emerged from meditation. Each day's ritual contains five components, which need not be performed consecutively nor, necessarily, in order (save that step 1 must be first and step 5 last):
1) The wingnut of the day is removed from its meditation chamber and named.
2) The wingnut is introduced to any wingnuts which have already emerged, and it is shown the meditation chambers of those as-yet-unnamed wingnuts which have not.
3) The day must include at least one social mealtime at which the caster and all named wingnuts are present and served (although no one has to actually eat anything he doesn't want to). Hot dogs are good for this, with five condiments recommended.
4) The day should include one game, in which all named wingnuts participate. (The caster should move the wingnuts' game pieces for them if they don't feel like doing so themselves.) No cheating is allowed unless the cheater is not caught. In board games, wingnuts are encouraged to act as their own game pieces (especially for Monopoly).
5) The day should end with a bedtime readings from the Principia, Apocrypha, and/or other Eris-relevant text, with at least one use of the print copy of the Apocrypha each night.
These activities should occupy approximately two hours of each ritual day. Also, all named wingnuts must be kept on or near the caster's person for the duration of Phase 3.
On the fifth day, the game satisfying step 4 should be Discordian Hopscotch. All five colors of sidewalk chalk should be employed.
Additional players may join any step 4 game without adversely affecting the ritual, so long as they play nice and don't get caught cheating.
4) Binding and Formal Affirmations
4a) Binding
Corresponds with the Season of Bureaucracy. Occurs on Day 12 of the ritual, a Sweetmorn; the remainder of phase IV begins the next day and lasts through Day 22. Total time in ritual for this subphase: 1 hour and 20 minutes.
This segment is similar in form to portions of phase I grafted onto the ritual from phase II, served up in an official-document sauce. The caster begins with purification, as outlined for phase I ("The Pope must partially fill a tub with hot water . . . " etc., including the cabbage), with the important difference that everything is scripted and more elaborate; this is where the cabbage sketches are made, for future reference in the speech portion ("Exhibit A, a cabbage, which both the Pope in question - henceforth 'I' - and these wingnuts, [their names] - henceforth 'the Wingnuts' - are not. Exhibit B, the same cabbage as viewed from above. Note again that neither I nor the Wingnuts bear any resemblance to, and can therefore be inferred to be NOT, the cabbage in question, or indeed any other cabbage. Exhibit C, the same cabbage . . .").
After purification, a brief scripted speech introducing the wingnuts to the (possibly non-existent) audience and declaring their written commitment to unification into a single never-to-be-broken pentagon. Waivers are signed.
Next, the binding ritual. This will be very similar to the sort of stuff seen in Phase II, but without the fire and with the addition of string; at this point, that's all the detail I feel is really necessary (more upon request, of course). Much rejoicing.
After this, the "man and wife" moment, where the five wingnuts - now joined into a pentagonal necklace [much like the one I'm already wearing] - are declared to be unified forever, and sign a form promising such. Also signed is a form committing to the filling out and filing of additional, future forms in affirmation of the bond just formed. (See phase IVb.)
Detail here is scant because the tone has pretty much been set already, the ritual modifiers for this phase are irrelevant (the numbers from the first two phases alone assure my success if the ritual sees uninterrupted completion), and there's nothing much here that risks outside interference or attention. Phase IVb is a different kettle of fish, and will require more scrutiny from you; I'm still not sure I'll get away with it.
[Reminder: material components for this (sub)phase may be found here:
http://gamingoutpost.com/discussions/topic/wingnuts-and-wizardry-ritual-magic-for-scotts-game#post-2241
]
I'm sorry--"Waivers are signed" by whom? I'm a bit uncertain as to exactly how a wingnut signs a waiver, or any other document.
--M. J. Young
As the wingnuts' de facto guardian, I have the power to assume consent where none is explicitly retracted. Also, where physical dis- or inability prevents signature, I am permitted to assist them in making their marks on the appropriate form(s) (in this case, accomplished by pressing them into an inkpad and applying them to the signature line).
Moving on:
4) Binding and Formal Affirmations (cont.)
4b) Affirmations
Corresponds with the Season of Bureaucracy. Occurs on Days 13-22 of the ritual, beginning on a Boomtime and ending on a Sweetmorn. Total time in ritual for this subphase: 5 hour and 30 minutes (answer arrived upon via math).
This phase consists of the daily creation and filing of forms affirming the newfound eternal unity of the named components of the holy symbol. Each form takes five minutes to create and complete (made by hand from a template, which is designed outside of ritual time). On the first day, one form is made; on the second day two are made, on the third three, and so on until ten are made on the tenth day. This comes to a total of fifty-five forms over the course of the subphase. Each form receives its own paper clip; this is required even if the form is only a single page (which is permitted).
After the day's forms are created and filled out, they must be filed. Each form has a particular location where it must be placed, and there is a song that should be sung when it is placed there (secured with duct tape where necessary). The song is to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas, and on the tenth day the words are as follows:
Affirmations of unity, a bureaucratic dream:
Ten, out the window,
Nine, in my right shoe
Eight, in my left shoe
Seven, through the mail
Six, on a bus
Five, in a tree;
Four is flushed away
Three gets froze
Two, in a balloon
And the first goes in File 13
On days when fewer than ten forms are created, lines addressing higher numbers are omitted. Each filing is assumed to take approximately one minute, folding is permitted, and the locations referred to are as follows:
1 - Any designated trash receptacle.
2 - A balloon, subsequently inflated with helium and released in an area open to the sky.
3 - A freezer, or any location guaranteed to remain sub-zero (C) for the duration of the subphase.
4 - Flushed down a toilet. (Easier with single-page forms.)
5 - In a tree ("in" being above the primary split into branches).
6 - Aboard a vehicle of public transportation that could be considered a bus (as distinct from a taxi, train, or the like).
7 - In a mailbox which will (or could reasonably expected to) be visted by a postal service.
8 - In the ritual performer's left shoe. It must fit, but it need not be worn.
9 - As above, but the other shoe. They need not match.
10 - Through a window, from the interior, in the form of a paper airplane. The interior of what is not important, but there must be room on the outside to fly at least a few feet.
The forms need not be prominently displayed or even visible once filed (concealment is permitted). They need not remain in their designated locations once filed, but the performer is not allowed to remove them (directly or indirectly). The order in which they are filed on a given day is immaterial. Travel time between filing locations is not included in ritual time, which adds up to six minutes on the first day and sixty on the last (five for each form, one for each filing).
[Reminder: material components for this (sub)phase may be found here:
http://gamingoutpost.com/discussions/topic/wingnuts-and-wizardry-ritual-magic-for-scotts-game#post-2242
]
5) Dissolution and Emancipation
Corresponds with the Season of Aftermath. Begins and ends on Day 23 of the ritual, a Boomtime. Total time in ritual: 1 hour 23 minutes.
The day begins as though it were the eleventh day of the previous phase - with the creation and completion of eleven forms of affirmation. However, about halfway through (23 minutes in) the performer becomes fed up with the whole ordeal, manually destroys the forms, gives a brief tirade the gist of which is "bother wingnuts, unity, and everything to do with them", and tops everything off by rending the strung-together wingnut pendent into its component parts and strewing them about the room. (If the performer's brute strength proves insufficient for the task, tool use is permitted). He then retreats into his room [or equivalent segregated area] to sulk, bringing with him twenty-three hot dog buns. (Hot dogs optional.)
Fifty minutes are spent mulling the whole thing over, during which time he partakes of five hot dog buns. (Hot dogs optional.)
When he emerges, he gathers the wingnuts, apologizes for his behavior on that day and the ten prior, admits that the wingnuts aren't bad blokes really and that everything is his fault for coming on too strong with the eternal-unity thing, and suggests that all concerned could still hang out on a sort of provisional basis if they feel like it. The wingnuts (presumably) agree, and - if it's convenient - are tied together again for easy transportation and apparel-utility. Either way, the five wingnuts in one place under the protection of a Pope who possesses knowledge of their names now constitute, collectively, a (holey) wholly holy Holy Symbol of Eris Discordia.
[Again, material components are listed above, here:
http://gamingoutpost.com/discussions/topic/wingnuts-and-wizardry-ritual-magic-for-scotts-game#post-2244 ]
Total total time in ritual: 23 hours 53 minutes (2.99 doublings of baseline); +30
Temporal framework; +20
Interrupted ritual; -10
Material components, Phase I; +68
(Base SM > (100 - [BRA + net bias]), ending calculation)
For the record, the skill success roll is 72, so you've got a 1@2 Create Holy Symbol M15@1 skill.
--M. J. Young