Two
MJ, if it's any consolation, I probably would have sent me there too. It wasn't a bad choice in worlds, just a REALLY bad choice of openers for it. (Said with a laugh) MJ, I remember you saying that you were originally surprised that Adam used the opener of the MP. You (originally) would have just dropped me in the middle of nowhere and let me figure it out on my own. The opener of the MP is what killed it. So I guess this is all Adam's fault. (said with another laugh) Too bad you weren't running the world.
I can't seem to find it at the moment, but I wrote about a dozen or so ways that world or a world like it could open, based on what you want to learn about your players. If I can find it, I'll try to post it to the board.
Do me a favor though and reread what I said a few posts up about how this affected my psychosis. Anyone who does not suffer from a mental illness would never understand. Just so you know, I don't hold that against you. How could you have known?
(Doing Therapy)
Three
In fact, I'll just save you the trouble of scrolling up to reread it. Here it is. (This is supposed to be a funny joke. Take it as intended)
You guys don't know how lucky all of you are. When I say this wouldn't get out of my head, I don't think anyone has ANY idea what I meant. Sure, you all have thoughts that won't get out, but not like this. There was a time when this dominated easily 75% of my waking thoughts. I had nightmares about it. I had innumerable psychotic breaks because of it. To say the least, it kept me awake at night. To this day, I still can't put my hands behind my back without thinking I'm in handcuffs. It was invariably my first thought on waking up in the morning, and my last thought before falling asleep. Until a couple weeks ago, that is. I woke up in the morning, and it was a good hour before I realized this hadn't come to mind. That, to me, was an unprecedented success. You guys got off lucky. You only had to read about it. I hope Scott, Eric and Brock read this.
So you see MJ, you telling me to "Just get over it" might as well be telling me to just stop being psychotic. I'll just stop being psychotic the day you just stop being depressed. Thank you all for dealing with me on it.
(Doing Therapy)
You (originally) would have just dropped me in the middle of nowhere and let me figure it out on my own.
I do not think you can figure it out if there is no direct sign of where you were just like how you do not know any danger would happen in Dancing Princess. Consider the MP like an angel but in the form of a human. Even if there is a signboard or something it would probably say "Naval Air Station: Ford Island, Oahu, Hawaii" rather than Pearl Harbor.
I remember you saying that you were originally surprised that Adam used the opener of the MP.
That (referring to the explanation above) is what makes me think the above opener suits you better. Even if you find out later the end result would probably be the same as what have been discussed before (read back to remember) but the end result of the above opener will only be faster (which is good considering this is a forum game).
So please stop blaming others and just accept the situation as it is. Just remember that this might be a blessing in disguise.
So please stop blaming others and just accept the situation as it is. Just remember that this might be a blessing in disguise.
What I've learned, it was bar none the best world I've been to. School of hard knocks tends to be a really fast teacher.
MJ, I want you to know, I don't hold anything against you. I really hope that's mutual. How could you have possibly known it would have affected my psychosis like that? It's not your fault. You thought it would be a great world. It was. I learned more in that world than anywhere else. I just wish it hadn't been such a long, painful journey.
A full-blown psychotic episode now is less than what I used to deal with on a day-to-day basis. In God's time, my psychosis went away. In God's time, everything will work out the way it's supposed to. Thank you for dealing with me.
(Doing Therapy)
Two
MJ, the irony in this is that if I DID know the Pearl Harbor battle as well as you seemed to think I did, I wouldn't have warned them. I was thinking I was most certainly going to verse out and most certainly end up in the next world with 40 broken bones and no hospital in sight. I should have known right off that bat that you wouldn't have written the rules like that, but I failed my intellect check (or whichever it would have been)
You say this is prioritizing myself above others. In the Roots miniseries, (Volume 4 I believe) Noah, one of the slaves, wants to try to run away. His girlfriend and Kunta Kinte's daughter Kizzy knows how to read and write, a very rare thing for slaves to know how to do. She writes him a traveling pass so that if he gets caught, it would look like he had permission to be out. Naturally he gets caught, and the masters want to know who wrote him the traveling pass. They start whipping him to get him to confess to who wrote the traveling pass. If he confesses Kizzy will get sold, if he doesn't, they will whip him to death. A choice between confessing and ruining Kizzy's life or not confessing and being slowly whipped to death. The master comes out and says "What's left of Noah confessed." So they must have whipped him pretty badly (it's not shown) He prioritized himself above Kizzy.
My case, it was a choice between warning them and ruining the United States or versing out with 40 broken bones (or so I thought) Is that REALLY prioritizing yourself above others? Maybe in the strictest sense it is, but it's understandable I'd think. That was how far I had to be pushed to get involved in that scenario. I WISH I had known the attack as well as you seemed to think I did. Knowing I was completely safe where I was would have been the incentive I needed to NOT warn them. So yeah, I'll take the million dollars, but really, who wouldn't?
In all of this time, Osevens has never said word one about any of it. I'm curious what he thinks of all of this.
I WISH I had known the attack as well as you seemed to think I did.
So in the end, you are blaming yourself because you do not know as much as you prefer to right?
Again, please stop blaming others "or yourself" and just accept the situation as it is. Just remember that this might be a "blessing in disguise".
You know why you did what you did so if you thought of this topic again, remember the keyword "BLESSING IN DISGUISE". This keyword will trigger the memory of the discussion in this thread vividly and if not you should re-read this thread when the keyword is said so you will associate better with it.
Remember, "BLESSING IN DISGUISE".
you've completely driven Adam Keller off the game board (and I think John Walker, too)
Pharaoh told me that he quit the game to save you time. He already knows how to play it, so him playing here was just taking up time you could be using for other players. He's on my Myspace friends list actually.
As far as Adam, unlike you, he ISN'T obligated to read and reply to every post. It was his choice to read my ramblings. He could have just as if not more easily ignored me as read and replied. So you see, I have no sympathy for him.
He could have just as if not more easily ignored me as read and replied.
Can you ignore someone who is talking or writing about you?
Can you ignore your thoughts enough that you will not write or tell it to others?
Will you let anyone ignore your post that if they would not reply you would not react to it?
If you can ignore the above then I would say it is easy to ignore.
If you cannot ignore the above you should think more of what the others may feel when you post something.
Max, in case you haven't noticed, on the left hand side of the screen it tells who the author of the post is. If he saw a post from JohnA1nut, he could have just skipped it and not read it at all. If the fact that I could have committed cold-blooded murder means that I wasn't forced to get involved, then the fact that he could skip my posts means he wasn't forced to read them.
could have committed cold-blooded murder
As I said, that situation already involves you but you can choose how to react to it. Please read back to remember.
he could skip my posts
That would not be easy right?
Could you ignore any post that have something to do with you?
Try to view in the perspective of others.
Breath in for 3 seconds, and breath out for 5 seconds.
Do this three times.
Think of serene and calm thoughts.
Let this thought overflow to overwrite other thoughts.
Associate this feeling with the keyword "BLESSING IN DISGUISE".
That would not be easy right?
What's easier than not reading something? I see what you're saying, but do you see what I'm saying?
Could you ignore any post that have something to do with you?
Not every post I write is about him. If he didn't read it, he wouldn't know it was about him. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.
Try to view in the perspective of others.
I see the point you're making Max, really. I really do. When I was in high school, I had a pen pal and she and I would argue and fight over our letters. Well, if she didn't want to fight with me, why did she open the letters and read them in the first place? She could have just thrown them away unopened.
For the first time in years, Pearl Harbor ISN'T my first thought upon waking up in the morning. I'm FINALLY getting over it. (Emphasizing, not yelling) MJ said that I had driven Adam away from the board. No, he chose to leave rather than just ignore me. I didn't drive him away. I didn't hold a gun to his head and force him to not come here. He did that of his own free will. It's not my fault. You're saying that I need to stop blaming others for my problems, well, so does Adam.
Think of serene and calm thoughts.
Imagine yourself in the mountains. It's calm and serene. You're sitting by a small brook. You look at the water and take note of how clear it is. It is in fact so clear that you can plainly see the face of the person who's head you're holding under water. That's a good relaxation technique to try.....
Two
Have you ever asked God "What did I do to deserve this?" when things are going really bad for you? Of course you have. Everyone has. I was having a particularly bad psychotic episode once, and I kept screaming "God, what did I do to deserve this?" All of a sudden, I saw a vision of Jesus Christ standing in front of me. He had the crown of thorns on His head, I could see the nail prints in His wrists and the spear mark in His side. He was covered with what looked like black crude oil. I guess it was the sins of the world. He held out His hands so that I could see the nail prints and said "What did I do to deserve THIS John??" So now I only say that when things are going really well for me. I don't know why, it just seemed related somehow.
John--you can say that Adam ought to have ignored your posts, but I seem to recall at the time that you included his name in the titles of some of them and addressed them directly to him demanding a response.
You did not want him to ignore your posts, and him doing so only inflamed you.
I think he probably made the right choice in leaving the board.
--M. J. Young
John--you can say that Adam ought to have ignored your posts, but I seem to recall at the time that you included his name in the titles of some of them and addressed them directly to him demanding a response.
In response to him doing the same thing to me first, don't forget.
Two
My first thought on waking up this morning was "How do you pronounce the name of the Superman villain Mr. Mxyzptlk?" That was quite the refreshing change from "YES GODDAMMIT I WAS TOO FORCED TO GET INVOLVED!!!!!!" which had consistently been my first thought on waking up for years.
Put it into perspective MJ. Five years ago, I would have been screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs. No matter how goofy or argumentative I get here, it HAS to be an improvement over that. For the first time, this is getting out of my head.
Three
I think Mxyzptlk is pronounced "Mix-a-pit-a-lik" but don't take my word for it.
Wikipedia gives the alternate pronunciations
m?ks·y?z?·p?t·l?k,or
m?ks·y?z?·p?t·l·?k
However, I suspect those are subsequent efforts to give sound to the spelling, and that the point of the original name was almost certainly that you probably couldn't pronounce his name if you weren't from the fifth dimension. It's an effort to do in print that thing of "well, among my people my name is something entirely unpronouncible by humans" which was accomplished in Splash by having Madison squeak something like a dolphin (undoubtedly dubbed by sound effects) when giving her name. How do you pronounce an unpronouncible name? How do you spell it? I think that's what they were trying to accomplish: Mxyzptlk can pronounce his own name, and Superman, who is from another planet, can manage it, but the reader cannot even imagine the sound, because it is entirely too alien for humans to grasp.
Clever, really, although I remember struggling with it as a boy.
--M. J. Young
Mxyzptlk had an appearance in Smallville. He said it once. It sounded like Mix-a-pit-a-lik when he said it.
Do you at least understand why I was so insistent that I was forced to get involved?
Regarding driving Adam away from the board, I would like to point out that I might have driven him away from the board with my ignorable behavior, but he didn't completely drive me from the game with the way he was running it. Something I couldn't possibly have just ignored. That says something about us. I'm not sure what, but it says something.
(Doing Therapy)
Ya know, Max was saying that I should say "Blessing in Disguise" when this gets out of hand for me. I have a mantra for all of you. "Put it into perspective." Five years ago, a psychotic episode meant I was screaming obscenities and in a great deal of pain. Is running this thing twenty miles underground really so bad? "Put it into perspective." That's my mantra for all of you.
(Doing Therapy)
I thought you would be more inclined to raise the defenses against the attack than allow it to obliterate the Pacific Fleet.
And if I had been made aware of where I was before the MP got there, you would have found out that you were wrong, in-game like you were supposed to, not years later. It's just an observation as to why the opener of the MP should not have been used, not an argument. Running and shooting at an MP who is chasing you might still be shooting someone for just doing his job, but it's different from shooting a man standing right in front of you. I don't know why, it just is, and don't even try to tell me it isn't. Unless you really want to start yet ANOTHER argument on the subject.
These are observations, not arguments, just to be clear.
I'm just curious MJ. What made you think I would be more inclined to raise the defenses at Pearl Harbor? It is kind of unfortunate in retrospect that I didn't put any personal thoughts about the movie in my analysis. The whole time I was watching it, I was thinking that if the captain had any sense, he would turn the boat around and high tail it out of there.
Two, more than 24 hours after last.
Seriously, I want to know. Why did you think I would be inclined to warn them? That was a scenario I'd want to stay as far away from as I possibly could. I wasn't willing to shoot the MP, and when I got taken into custody, my normal cockiness towards law officers took over. If I had known where I was BEFORE the MP got there, I would have never gotten arrested. I can't make that any more clear to you. That's a situation I wouldn't want to be within 50 miles of. That was the chance to see how far I would go to stay UNinvolved. Where did you get the idea that I would want to warn them? This is one of the last pieces of the puzzle, so please, don't let me down.
MJ, I know you say you don't like for players to have any clue where they are going, but I'm just curious. You could have asked me conversationally "Hey John, what would you have done if you were the captain of the Nimitz?" and found out everything you wanted to know. (Just so you know, I'm laughing) I wish you would have. I wouldn't have thought any more about it, and (hopefully) now knowing I'd want to stay away from it, Adam would have played it accordingly. The opener of the MP kind of assumes that the player wants to get involved, at least I think. I think that might be a good idea. Just ask conversationally a question you could get some information from. The player wouldn't think any more of it. Just a thought.
(Doing Therapy)
I have already answered that question.
I think had I been dropped into that scenario, I would have made an effort to warn someone. I would have had to have thought about how to do this such that I wouldn't sound crazy, but I would have wanted the base to be on operational alert, at least.
I'm thinking that I might have posed as a psychic--do the Sean Spencer Psyche thing, only relying on my knowledge of the future. I would include things like "around the end of the first week of December, Japanese fighters are going to attack the fleet at Pearl Harbor" and "somewhere in the Scandinavian countries Germany is working on a deuterium-based hydrogen bomb, a nuclear device based on Einstein's matter/energy theories". I don't know enough about the war to claim to be a historian from the future, but I know enough to fake a few psychic predictions--V2 rockets, death camps, that sort of thing.
So I'd have done it, and I'm less conversant in the matter. But then, I think that whether or not the Americans were ready we still would have been infuriated by the attack, and Roosevelt (who wanted an excuse to increase aid to Europe) would have used it to obtain his declaration of war from Congress based on the surprise attack even if the warning had been given, so I think it would have meant fewer deaths and a better response against the Japanese, but not the undoing of all that followed.
Of course, the dice can be surprising, so I can't say it would have worked that way.
--M. J. Young
I have already answered that question.
What? That the Final Countdown analysis made you think I would warn them? What about the Final Countdown analysis? If you've already said it, I apologize, I forgot. Please tell me again. That was certainly reading something that wasn't there. I was being objective in my analysis. Had it been biased, I would have put down a rant about how stupid they were being by trying to prevent the attack.
I guess the best way I can explain it to you is take the fear of versing out and ending up in the next world with 40 broken bones. That was how hard I had to be pushed TO warn them. Take that and turn it into how much I don't want to warn them, backed up by a van full of semi-automatic weapons and a guy with a real dislike for authority figures to begin with. By the time he got to me, it was "too late" to do anything besides get taken into custody. If I had known where I was beforehand, he would have never gotten that close. That was the chance to see how far I would go to NOT get involved. That, I think was the part I couldn't deal with.
(Doing Therapy)
Two
But then, I think that whether or not the Americans were ready we still would have been infuriated by the attack, and Roosevelt (who wanted an excuse to increase aid to Europe) would have used it to obtain his declaration of war from Congress based on the surprise attack even if the warning had been given, so I think it would have meant fewer deaths and a better response against the Japanese, but not the undoing of all that followed.
Yeah, but it would no longer be "The Day That Would Live in Infamy." It would no longer be the battle cry that it became. It would be like saving the people at The Alamo. Texas would no longer have their battle cry "Remember the Alamo." I'm sure you know how important a motivation like that can be to a soldier in combat. How many soldiers volunteered because of "The Day That Would Live in Infamy"? How many battles were won because of that "Little extra push"? Where did that "Little extra push" come from? "The Day That Would Live in Infamy." See what I mean? It's still not a scenario I'd want to touch.
(Doing Therapy)
Three
That's why I am so insistent that you let the player know where they are BEFORE doing anything else. BEFORE sending an MP after them. If they know where they are, what do they do then? If they head towards the base, send an MP to help them get there. If they start trying to leave, send an MP to slow them down. How serious are they about leaving? Do they surrender immediately, or do they open fire on the MP's jeep with an AK-47? What could you learn about the player then? I rolled the jeep. Consequently, you learned some of the effects of low-grade psychosis. If I hadn't rolled the jeep, I would have told them nothing. You would have learned nothing. If I had known where I was, tried to leave, an MP came after me, and I shot his jeep to hell and back, I daresay you would have learned a great deal more about me.
EDIT: I've written up a list of 6 different ways that world could open. I'm going to see if I can come up with any more. If anyone reading has any suggestions, feel free to post them.
(Doing Therapy)
As far as learning whether you "wanted to get involved", you'd already made it clear that you did not want to get involved. I wanted to know how hard you would work to remain uninvolved, not whether you would choose to become involved given an absolutely free and unrestricted choice.
And if I had known where I was before the MP showed up, you would have seen how hard I would work to stay uninvolved, as I emptied a 30 round clip at his approaching army jeep. That opening completely killed any chance you had of seeing how hard I would work to stay uninvolved in that situation. If I hadn't rolled the jeep, I wouldn't have warned them. Period. It wouldn't have been hard work at all to not warn them. If I had known where I was, you would have seen me work to stay out of it. Believe me, you would have seen me work hard to stay out of it.
I've reread all of your posts on this thread MJ, and I still can't find what about the Final Countdown analysis made you think I would get involved. You said something about a "particular fascination" with what would have happened if the Nimitz reached the base in time to help. That was half of the analysis. There would be no way I could have written it at all without that "Particular fascination." A "Particular fascination" which didn't exist. I knew full well what would happen if they reached the base in time to help. The US wouldn't enter WW2, and Germany would win. Maybe I was wrong in that assumption, but still better to let the place be destroyed and not have to find out. What about the Final Countdown analysis made you think I would get involved? That analysis was written completely objectively with no bias at all about warning them one way or the other. If it had been, I would have cursed the boat captain for his ignorance of the situation. What about that made you think I would warn them?
Two
The above might sound a bit more rude than is intended. Please recall what I said about how this wouldn't get out of my head. A psychotic episode is based on memories. At least for me. Who would have thought I could get them from the memories of a fictional character? You think dragging this out for 4 years is bad? I've got some of these that go back to when I was 7 years old. Four years is a record for killing a psychotic episode.
(Doing Therapy)
Perhaps it is because I find myself agreeing with the crew of the Nimitz, thinking that anyone who knew the infamous Pearl Harbor attack was imminent would attempt to warn the American military of it. You apparently are the exception. I would have warned them.
--M. J. Young
That's strange. Maybe I am the exception. I'll post that list of game openers as soon as i figure out how.
(Doing Therapy)
Well, in generic circumstances, ie, "You can alter the initiating event of a war with major consequences down the road, many positive and certainly better than the alternative" I wouldn't risk it. However, in the case of pearl harbor I know enough to be reasonably certain that the main effect will be a considerably shortened pacific conflict, with japan's main carrier force and most of the trained pilots sent to the bottom of the ocean in the opening battle instead of 2/3rds being destroyed at midway. I'm strongly doubtful that it would preclude US entry into the war in Europe, as FDR would likely say that Germany's alliance with Japan is reason enough to declare war on Germany.
It doesn't matter. This board records a psychotic episode. That IS what matters.
(Doing Therapy)
Two
Hope this doesn't sound overly rude. So you were thinking "He didn't want to get involved in the last world, but he will certainly want to get involved in this one." So instead of dropping me somewhere so I can find out where I am and decide on my own if I want to get involved, an MP is dispatched to make sure that I get involved in this scenario that I will certainly want to get involved in. Never even try to find out if it's a scenario I want to get involved in, just assume that I want to and send an MP to make sure I do it. If you had any idea how wrong you were.....
All right, now you're just being unreasonable, not to mention rude.
I thought based on my perception of Pearl Harbor, of your familiarity with it within the context of Final Countdown, and of your non-involvement attitude more generally, that it would be interesting to challenge you as to whether you would become involved if you were at Pearl Harbor and knew the Japanese were about to attack. I also thought that your knowledge of that battle probably was more complete than mine, and I shouldn't attempt to run a scenario about which you were that much more knowledgeable than I. I wrote to four (I recall three, but I remember there were four) candidates to take over your game, and one of them said he could run Pearl Harbor for you.
All the discussion we had on the subject was that I thought it would be interesting to see your response to that situation, and he said he could run it. I had no ideas as to how I would bring someone into it, because I knew I was not running it so I didn't need to answer that question.
Now you're asking why given what I wanted to see I thought it would be good to bring you in that way. I thought nothing at all about how to bring you into the scenario. Apparently, though, Adam's assessment of your likely response was entirely different and more accurate than mine--he seemed to think that you needed to be dragged into the middle of the situation and forced to choose between being an endangered observer, escaping custody, or becoming involved. It hindsight that was a much more accurate assessment of the situation, and we learned much more from his approach than we would have from ANY of the approaches you would have preferred: we learned that you would become involved as soon as it appeared to be in your own best interest to do so, and that you were willing to destroy what you perceived as the best possible future just to save yourself some temporary problems. (Even if you had versed out with broken bones in casts and traction, how long would it have taken for you to find a way to heal all damage, really?)
So you are grousing at me because someone else more accurately assessed how to run a situation that would force you to face a difficult choice (and the point was always to make you face a difficult choice) than I did.
I'm tired of it.
--M. J. Young
I'm tired of it.
You and me both. Believe me, I would drop it if I could. I want you to try something MJ. An experiment. Whilst sitting there, by sheer force of will, slow down the synaptic pathways in your brain. Can't do it eh? Why not? That's what you seem to be asking me to do. I would drop it if I could. I haven't yet mastered the art of slowing down my synaptic pathways by sheer force of will. If you ever manage it, let me know how you did it. (All of this is meant to be funny, BTW)
The point was never to get you involved. it was to drop you in that situation and see what you would do with it. We don't simulate perfect scenarios where everything goes the way the player wants it to-that's kind of boring to most, and VERY boring for referees. The point of roleplaying is to take your character, put them in some sort of challenge, be it social, technical, physical, magical, a mixture, or whatever, and see how the player thinks the character would deal with it. Then the referee figures out the repercussions of that action on the story, introduces new challenges, all the while letting the player complete their own personal goals as best they are able (if they even can, hehe).
I'm sure we are all sorry your psychosis was triggered, and we try to understand, but the fact of the matter is, that was completely the RIGHT way to introduce someone of your personality to that scenario. No one could have predicted it's effect on you, but it DID achieve the referee's desired objective-seeing how your character dealt with that conflict, and making your character get his bearings and figure out where you are gradually.
Look at what has happened since. Your character now has an even more extreme aversion to authority, cementing his beliefs and convictions, determining the course he sets for himself into the foreseeable future. look at the impact that ONE decision had on him. EVERY decision has consequence, and that is what drives the story.
P.S. that last sarcastic 'joke' was mildly offensive (at least to my perceptions). You should work on that.
Brock, the conscious mind knows all of this. The psychotic mind is still insisting that I was forced to get involved and forced into the story.
My friend Mike died last year. I owed him a huge apology, and I didn't even realize it until after he died. Now I can't offer it to him. I knew Mike probably better than anyone on earth with the exception of his mother. I know in my mind and in my heart that he would accept the apology and forgive the wrong I did. It wasn't even really that big of a thing, just a misunderstanding that most friends work through. It's also been 2 years gone. The conscious mind knows all of this. The psychotic mind still brings it to bear and throws it into my face a hundred times a day. The conscious mind knows that Mike forgives me. The psychotic mind won't let me forgive myself. "Put it into perspective."
P.S. that last sarcastic 'joke' was mildly offensive (at least to my perceptions). You should work on that.
Which one?
Two
we learned much more from his approach than we would have from ANY of the approaches you would have preferred: we learned that you would become involved as soon as it appeared to be in your own best interest to do so, and that you were willing to destroy what you perceived as the best possible future just to save yourself some temporary problems. (Even if you had versed out with broken bones in casts and traction, how long would it have taken for you to find a way to heal all damage, really?)
You learned all of that because it gave me a psychotic episode. If I wasn't psychotic, and ran through it exactly the same way, you would have learned (in game) that I had a problem with authority figures and that I warned Pearl Harbor of the attack. Would you have been completely certain I wasn't intending to warn them anyway? At best you would wonder about it, at worst you would make more incorrect assumptions. If all that was ever said about it was what was said in game, that's what you would have learned from it. Now you're telling me to let the psychotic episode go. Why? You've learned so much from it. (Said with just a hint of sarcasm)
I think if I had ran through it any other way it would not have given me a psychotic episode. (And by that I mean a way that was better, not worse.) I think if it had been any other scenario with the same opener, and the same results, there wouldn't have been a psychotic episode, or at least one which wasn't NEARLY as bad. That particular scenario was one I wanted to stay away from. Before I ran through the world, I would have sworn up and down that there was no way I could be induced to warn them. I don't EVER want to see someone say there's something they could never be induced to do. No matter what it was, and no matter who it was. There's a scenario, and hope it never happens, which could induce you to do exactly what you think you could never be induced to do. There's a scenario which could induce The Pope to break all Ten Commandments in one day.
If I had known where I was before the MP got there, (And been psychotic) you would have found out (in game) that I had a real problem with authority figures, and that there was no way I would have been arrested. There also would have been proud adoration for the brilliant choice in worlds, after I was killed in a gunfight with the MPs. I think that's a little bit more than the non-psychotic version of the jeep crash.
I'm not trying to be rude MJ. This is (finally!!) no longer my first thought on waking up in the morning. I'm sure it affected your depression. I'd hate to think which one of us suffered more. I'm sorry, really. There's nothing more I can do about it. It's almost over, for real.
Ya know, I just realized. The psychotic episodes are based on memories. I have a very minor psychotic episode based on the memories of this discussion. In a manner of speaking, it gave me two psychotic episodes.....
(Doing Therapy)