"Definitely."
You have an uneventful five day trip, and arrive on the outskirts of a disorganized looking village. Many quaint houses and shops surround a large mansion.
We will ride in pleasantly and attempt to speak to people without getting arrested. We will ask for directions to the Inn if there is one.
Many people here are rushing into houses as the see you coming, but one blonde smiles and approaches you. The people here resemble elves, to a certain extent, but without the pointed ears.
"Welcome," the blonde says to you. "I'm sorry for how many of the people here are; they're just shy. We don't get many visitors. I'm Sunny. What's your name?"
"I am Pharaoh, and this is Dawn. We didn't mean to alarm anyone. We are strangers to these lands. As I said, we didn't mean to cause such a response, but it is better than the reception we received to the East."
At my last remark I will laugh.
"Well, hail and well met to you, Sunny! Perhaps you would join us in conversation so we may become familiar with the local customs so as to not offend or startle anyone further?"
"Of course," she says with a smile. "Come with me."
She starts walking deeper into the village with you. "Our village was once ruled by three wise and noble kings. They believed in freedom, happiness, and love for all. In a way, they even competed with one another to keep the people happy. After their deaths, the elders took all three of their spirits and poured them into a new body, that of our Lord Orlouge. He is kind, gentle... and firm, especially," she says with a smile that hints that you're supposed to know what she means by that.
The scenery is serene and peaceful; with the buxom local at your side, people are simply looking at you curiously as you pass, then returning to their tasks, such as gardening or keeping up their property, for the most part. None of them are less than gorgeous in appearance, more than one in ten are women, no one looks older than thirty and the only person younger than their late teens you've seen since arriving is Dawn. Various skin tones of the normal human variety and hair and eye colors that vary from normalcy abound.
"Homosexuality is illegal here for men," Sunny tells you, "But you really don't look the type anyway."
You walk out into an open area surrounded by what look to be food storage buildings, and see three familiar statues standing prominently on display. All three are nude but for a crown.
"Our three kings," Sunny tells you. "King Howard, King Ron, and King Hugh."
Yes, in fact, they do appear to be Howard Stern, Hugh Hefner, and Ron Jeremy Hyatt.
Great. The Hedo II of the Verse. Lol!
"Hmmm. Howard Stern, Ron Jeremy and Hugh Heffner. Fitting. Do you think it would be possible to get an audience with Lord Orlouge sometime? I would truly like to meet a man such as he. Besides, the Lord to the east means him ill intentions and even if he already knows, I would like to hear his side of the issue. I can't imagine why he would want to cause harm to the people here. Everyone is so nice and pleasant. It simply makes no sense to me."
Sunny smiles to you, and tells you, "Well, of course. I'm sure Lord Orlouge would be glad to see you."
She escorts you to the mansion. Two scantly-clad female guards with large phallic sticks resembling spears, say, "Ms. Sparks. Who is this?"
"This man wishes to meet with our lord."
"Enter, then." They stand aside.
She accompanies you inside, and you are led through several bedchambers, each more marvellous than the next, and finally into a spatious throne room.
The Lord Orlouge is here, a man more handsome than any of the three individuals within his soul (not that that would be saying much), with a woman performing a sensitive action in front of him.
"Hey, how's it hanging, Sunny?"
"This gentleman requested an audience with you, my lord."
"That so?" He doesn't bother to interrupt the woman kneeling in front of him. "I'm Orlouge, Lord of the Mystics," he tells you. "What brings you here today?"
"Forgive our intrusion, Lord Orlouge. I am Pharaoh and this is Dawn. We thought it best to present ourselves after our last greeting in the lands of Lord Orpheus. The man truly dislikes you. He actually asked us to come and kill you. Can you imagine? Asking 2 strangers to kill someone for you? But I like him even less than he likes you, so he can go kick rocks for all I care. I just wanted to meet you and offer you warnings of his intentions. As we are very new to this world,...er, land, we were hoping to maybe find welcome in your village and offer what services we may. I am a master blacksmith and swordsman as well as several other skills. Dawn is my close friend and companion and assists me as well. We would be grateful and in your debt for any welcome we receive."
"Sure," he responds good-naturedly. "Whatever you want."
"So, Orpheus wants me dead now," he muses. "I guess he's given up trying to get my head. Good news, isn't it, dear?"
The woman at his feet nods, not looking up from her task.
"He's a very jealous man," Orlouge informs you.
"OH no he still wants your head. Where I come from that means he wants you dead."
"It means that here, too, but the general consensus is that Orpheus is mad because I get more head than him. Other than that we're kind of at a loss for why he'd keep trying to try to steal Angel here."
"Hmmm. He says there's an ancient feud. Something about long ago, you captured a member of the royal family, tortured her, bore a daughter by her, and then killed the mother. Can you enlighten me on this any further?"
"Captured? She wanted to come here and they said it was no place for a proper lady. Well, I helped her come here, and trust me, she wasn't a proper lady. She did have a daughter, but it wasn't mine. Candy was the daughter's name, I think. Sunny, she was your great-grandmother or something, right?"
Sunny nods.
"Man, what I wouldn't give to have her back."
"So basically, Lord Orpheus is holding onto sour grapes from generations ago. Got it. Well that settles it for me. We would love to stay for a while, if you would allow it. I understand that people here are mystics? Does that mean that magic is practiced here?"
"Well, sure," he responds to you, and hums the first bar from Do You Believe in Magic by The Lovin Spoonful.
"You've seen all the women here, haven't you? Stupid question, you couldn't have missed them.
"Sunny, fill in the blank for me.
"Blank-a-doodle-doo."
She does, seeming unaware of the inference.
Orlouge smiles whimsically. "I'm sure you'll love it here," he says to you.
"Um.....allrightythen. Are there any available dwellings? If not we have tents we can use until we can build one. And is there a smithy here in the village?"
Bloody double postings.
bump
"Sure, there are plenty of houses. Just go ahead and pick one.
"We haven't got any blacksmiths, no, but it shouldn't take much to set you up. Just requisition some people, I'm sure they'll be more than happy to help you erect whatever you like, as far as buildings go."
"Really? Fantastic!! I promise you that you will not regret your kindness. We will leave you to your schedule, your lordship."
Dawn and I will return to the village, with I assume Sunny. Let's test this. With her help I will requisition what people and materials we may. I'd like to try and reproduce the smithy and Forge I had in The Dancing Princess. This will take some time, of course, and some materials may need to be scrounged for or sent for. Suddenly, I realize that I have no kind of currency on my person at all.
Sunny does help, of course, as do several other much too beautiful women. No one asks anything about what's in it for them.
The night comes, bringing with it the darkness. Many women invite you to stay with them.
Hmm. Dawn and I will most likely respectfully decline, unless any of them have a spare room that she and I can stay in.
I will of course, practice my fighting skills, exercise, briefly of course as we will be tired from a days work. Wash up and rest. Resume work the next day but keep a constant eye out for anyone Lord Orpheus may have already sent or may be sending.
I will try and communicate with Dawn telepathically as well. Just to test psionics in this world.
You fail to reach her mind.
Some of them do say that they have spare rooms, but they ask why you wouldn't want to share their rooms with them.
"It is our custom. Our ways.", will be my polite but standard response.
In that case, I trust you will be lodging in a spare room offerred by one of the lovely women, then?
Or, what will your intentions be for a place to stay for the evening?
We will gratefully take the spare room.
Next question, women of every shape, color, and size have made such an offer.
So, which one is being graced with your favor?
None as I am suspicious of things that seem to good to be true.
Hahahaha.
Well, one of them has to be, unless you actually aren't accepting any of their offers. By "graced with your favor," I mean any of them will be jealous of whichever woman's offer you accept, and you have your pick, so...
Which woman's offer will you accept, or where will you be lodging this evening?
We'll just sleep in the tent tonight.
Haaa, okay.
You sleep in the tent for the night.
The next morning the two of you have plenty of breakfast offers.
Breakfast will be gratefully excepted. I'd like to take an after breakfast walk with Dawn. I want to get her take on this place. I'd also like to try and familiarize myself with the lay of the land in these parts.
After breakfast and a stroll, I'd like to resume work on the smithy.
Same question as previously; or are you simply intending to accept the first offer which comes?
Yes.
There are three women waiting outside your tent when you emerge in the morning.
The one on the left is dark skinned with dark hair done in braids and dark eyes; she looks like a ghetto princess. She's about 5'9" and taller than the other two, of average build.
The middle one is fair skinned with long, curly bright red-orange hair and eyes of deep sapphire. She is the shortest, pushing 5'0", and has a petite frame.
The third has an olive complexion, straight, short green hair, and orange eyes. She is about 5'5" and has a little more meat on her bones than the other two.
All three ask at the same time.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner in that order.
They seem to consider that as a fair compromise.
You have breakfast at a local eatery with J-Ho Wetsickle. She's more than happy to share the meal with you. The cook is more than happy to make whatever you want, but seems to specialize in indian foods.
I'll just have eggs bacon and toast. A cup of black coffee would be nice too.
That's quite acceptable.
It's a fantastic meal; it's so good that it makes you wonder whether it's your birthday or something.
After breakfast, you go for your stroll, then return to where the forge, where several women are hard at work building it.
§
Happy birthday, by the way ;)
Thank you!
I will join in the work on the forge. I will inspect work carefully, leaving little room for error. Keep the routine simple.